


Obey Me! Headcanons Book

by sondepoch



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Cute, Fluff, Gen, Wholesome, gender neutral headcanons, headcanons, kinda long, they're all gender neutral
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25834912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sondepoch/pseuds/sondepoch
Summary: Headcanons from tumblr, compiled into a book <3All headcanons feature all characters (undateables included!) with the exception of Luke, who will be excluded for anything that isn't strictly platonic.Current headcanons:MC breaks a bone!They see MC’s sketchbook!Married life with the boys!MC is more flexible than them!The boys as cats!
Relationships: Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Barbatos (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Barbatos (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Beelzebub (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Beelzebub (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Diavolo (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, LDiavolo (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Luke (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Simeon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Simeon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Solomon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Solomon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Comments: 45
Kudos: 713





	1. MC breaks a bone!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Demons can’t break bones. Neither can angels. Nope, from head to toe, they’re pretty much indestructible. So imagine everyone’s utter **shock** when you break a bone, and they’re reminded of just how weak the human body really is. ___
> 
> __Word Count: 5.2k_ _
> 
> __SFW + mild violence + mild description of broken bones_ _
> 
> __Characters: All Brothers + All Undateables + Luke_ _

###  **Lucifer**

  * Boi _flips_ out
  * So it didn’t actually happen while he was around, which is why he has so much trouble understanding what happened
  * You tripped on the steps outside Majolish? And you fell the wrong way??? And somehow, that was enough for you to break your ankle?!?!?!
  * Poor baby, he has no idea how he’s going to relay the information to Diavolo
  * When Mammon and Asmo sheepishly enter his study to tell him what happened, they’re highkey terrified for their lives - but learning that you actually _broke_ a _bone_ has him so shook that he doesn’t even remember to punish them, and he’s instead rushing to your room to see the damage for himself
  * He sees Belphie napping on your stomach and sort of assumes that everything is okay, and that his brothers were making a big deal out of nothing
  * Then he gets closer and sees the horribly _twisted_ angle your left foot is in
  * Suffice it to say, neither Mammon nor Asmo returned to their rooms fully unscathed that night
  * Overcomes his natural hatred of Solomon to call him and ask for—brace yourself— _help,_ and when the mage offers to cast a spell that will revert your body to its prior state, Lucifer insists on doing it himself, no longer trusting anyone else with your all-too- _fragile_ body
  * Relocates your room to the first floor of the house after all is said and done
  * Asks Diavolo to move all your classes such that you don’t need to climb any stairs
  * Refuses to believe you when you tried to insist that bones breaking is fairly common for humans
  * Becomes super overprotective
  * Insists on helping you with everything
  * “Lucifer, I can walk down the stairs myself, you know.”
  * “Yes, I’m sure you can” - he says with a straight face, refusing to let go of your hand as he takes you down the two-step elevation outside the House of Lamentation
  * (Bonus:) One day he catches you and Levi looking at parkour videos and from that moment and onward he refuses to let you out of sight for any longer than is _absolutely_ necessary
  * (Bonus bonus:) Catches you doing "parkour" in your bedroom, jumping from Beel’s shoulders to the bed, and then it becomes a new house rule that you’re not allowed to climb onto Beel’s shoulders



###  **Mammon**

  * He was with you when it happened, and the second he heard the crack, he _screamed_
  * Honestly, the most high-pitched, shrill sound you’d ever heard
  * You were more scared of the noise coming out of Mammon’s mouth than the awkward way your pinky was dangling
  * Only when he was done screaming did the pain actually set in, and then you were hissing viciously in an attempt to distract yourself, trying your hardest to blink the tears from your eyes because Mammon already looked like he was about to cry, and the Devildom really didn’t need _two_ blubbering messes in one day
  * The one saving grace for you both was the fact that Simeon was nearby, and he used his Celestial magic to heal you (you both _begged_ him not to tell Lucifer, of course)
  * Baby becomes even _more_ possessive over you afterwards
  * Still can’t get over how _easily_ it happened
  * “Are ya sure?” Mammon asks whenever you casually tell him you’re about to do something. Doesn’t matter if you say you’re folding paper cranes or planning on jumping off the roof of the House of Lamentation, he’s lost pretty much all faith in your ability to do anything without your human body breaking in the process
  * Oddly enough, he becomes much more touchy with you
  * Needs you to “prove to him” that you’re not injured by squeezing his hand
  * And then he just doesn’t let go
  * Oh, you’re holding hands? What? Who said that? Wait, can you prove that you’re not injured and squeeze his hand again? It’s for safety purposes. For safety.
  * Occasionally, though, he really _does_ have you move your pinky just to prove to him that there weren’t any lasting effects
  * Overprotectiveness increases by 500 points
  * Starts to hover around your room a lot more, awkwardly trying to help (really, he’s doing his best) but often doing things much worse than if you simply did them yourself
  * Gets into a fight with his brothers whenever one of them handles you too roughly
  * “Hey!” He shouts at pretty much anyone who touches you “Ya gonna hurt my human!”
  * Will drop anything and everything if he ever sees you trip to catch your fall
  * Legit, he was once holding Lucifer’s cup of coffee and out of the corner of his eye, he saw you jump to flop on the couch. Cue instant panic mode: he turned into his demon form and all - literally _throwing_ the coffee on Lucifer as he ran forward to catch your body before the couch could break any of your bones
  * Yeah, he got into a lot of trouble that day



###  **Leviathan**

  * Has officially decided that he’s never going outside again
  * Ever.
  * It happened while you were both at one of Lord Diavolo’s parties - you were trying to maneuver the crowds in search of _him_ , actually, and another demon tugged you close and tried to force you to dance. You fought back, of course, frowning as you escaped the demon’s hold, but apparently, they pulled you back and your wrist just _snapped_
  * God, he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the sound of your scream
  * The demon was punished severely, Diavolo made sure of that. But Levi didn’t care anymore - he just wanted to get _you_ back home, safe and sound
  * In the following days, he never leaves your side
  * You have to switch to online classes, at least for as long as your wrist is healing, and Levi takes it upon himself to make sure that the assimilation process is as smooth as possible
  * You start taking all your classes together, remaining in the same room even if you don’t have the same subject
  * Homework is a little harder, since Levi usually finishes before you, but he waits for you to finish while he reads manga
  * Evenings are spent watching anime in his room and debating random topics (oh, and you both marathon the entirety of TSL a couple more times ;))
  * He even tries to let you get the video game experience, and he picks an RPG game for you both to play and lets you tell him what to do an how to move around, since your wrist is broken
  * It’s actually super fun because he knows where all the traps are and which ones you’ll like, so he subtly guides your character through the gameplay process to get the best possible experience, and you actually end up enjoying this more than playing solo
  * (As a joke, he once offers to let you play _with_ him. As in, you use your nonbroken hand to control the left side of the controller and he controls the right side, but that turns out to be a hot mess and you both quickly abandon the idea)
  * Even after your wrist heals, the two of you continue to spend boatloads of time together
  * This boy even stops calling you “normie” at one point
  * Real subtle about it but he tries to convince you not to go back into society again. Like ever. 
  * “What if you get hurt again?” He asks when you tell him you’ve made plans with Asmo to go shopping
  * “Then we get to spend even more time together, all over again!”
  * Cue leviathan/blushingmess.exe



###  **Satan**

  * Probably the ONLY brother to have actually known that it’s possible for humans to break bones
  * Why?
  * He read about it in a book once
  * Still, that doesn’t stop him from visually flinching when he sees you writhing on the ground after being shoved into a bike rack by a lower-level demon, clutching your arm which is disfigured so awkwardly that the bone is popping out
  * His demon form manifests immediately, and he’s about to rip this demon to shreds when you desperately call out his name, and then he’s more preoccupied with helping you than he is with beating this demon to death
  * (Inwardly, though, he’s quite relieved that you stopped him from killing the demon immediately. Now, he’ll get to spend the next four millennia torturing the creature slowly, keeping it just an inch from death until he’s satisfied that the demon has paid for injuring you so severely. :))
  * Runs over to you immediately and pulls you onto his lap, quickly muttering an enchantment that will temporarily numb the pain
  * Proceeds to ask you whether you want him to use magic to forcefully heal you or if you want to heal the human way
  * Will respect your wishes 100% no matter which you choose
  * Throws himself into reading and studying human medicine as soon as the two of you get back to the House of Lamentation
  * By the end of the month, he’s an expert on human anatomy (and where human strength lies on a comparative figure to demon strength)
  * Takes it upon himself to watch out for you, threatening any demons who express behavior that isn’t excessively cautious
  * Starts walking with you and Mammon to and from school
  * Keep it lowkey, but the truth is that he doesn’t trust his brother to fully make sure that you’re safe so he takes it upon himself
  * Doesn’t really panic too much, he knows that you getting injured was more the demon’s fault than it was yours
  * Is actually very considerate of your feelings in all this
  * Consciously makes sure that he doesn’t treat you too differently, not wanting to make you feel like he thinks you’re weak. But he no longer trusts other demons around you, and after getting your permission, he casts an enchantment on you which prevents lower-level demons from touching you without your explicit consent
  * Smiles devilishly every single time one of them tries to shove you in the hallways of RAD and gets sent flying 30 meters backwards in response
  * Devilish smile intensifies when he finally gets around to kidnapping and torturing the demon who dared to push and injure you in the first place



###  **Asmodeus**

  * He’s worried about you for a good hour
  * Not to say he’s inconsiderate
  * No, he’s understandably concerned immediately after he sees you on crutches, and when you come home with a broken foot, he’s immediately hanging out with you and completely (read: barely) restraining himself from making flirtatious comments in case you’re still in pain
  * The second he realizes that you’re fine as long as you don’t apply pressure on it, a switch _flips_
  * Now that he knows that the fracture isn’t going to spread to the rest of your body and destroy you from the inside, he’s overwhelmed with how _cute_ it is that you need his help to do basic stuff
  * And honestly, you kinda vibe with it
  * He’s the shortest brother, so you having to ask him for help to get things off the shelf because you can’t stand is a rarity, and he is _living_ for it
  * He lives with six overlords of hell, so the feeling of someone asking (no matter how reluctant) him for help in simple stuff like climbing up or down the stairs is something he absolutely cherishes
  * The second he realizes how good it feels to do stuff for you, he’ll never stop
  * Will 100% put Mammon to shame in how frequently he starts hanging by your side
  * He thinks of everything even before _you_ do, always making sure that when you guys sit down, you have everything you need to be occupied for hours: from water to nail polish to the latest gossip at RAD, this man will make it his life’s mission to be the perfect prince while you’re injured
  * Seriously spoils you
  * Even when you finally heal and get better, he doesn’t stop helping you
  * Actually has the nerve to start complaining when you try to do stuff on your own
  * “You’re going to hurt yourself! Let me do it for you!”
  * “Asmo, I’m microwaving popcorn”
  * It doesn’t matter if you shower him with 'thank yous’ or if you grunt in annoyance every time he sits down next to you with an item you were about to get up and look for, he knows you appreciate the things he’s doing and that’s _all_ he needs
  * Effectively gives you the royal treatment, occasionally putting Barbatos to shame with how diligent he is in helping you out
  * It never stops, even months after you’ve made a full recovery
  * Then again, who are you to complain? ;)



###  **Beelzebub**

  * Suddenly becomes terrified of his own strength
  * He’s there as it happens, and the way your face immediately contorts in pain right before you bite your lip to stop yourself from screaming will really never stop haunting him
  * It doesn’t help that you get injured from something that would usually be considered child-safe in the Devildom - a small windup toy which your fingers had gotten stuck in before two of them snap completely
  * Man is by your side immediately
  * The pit in his stomach isn’t caused by hunger but by genuine _fear_ as he watches Lucifer and Satan soothe you with magic
  * He wants to run over to you and wipe your tears away, but should he? How can that be a good idea? He’s easily 1000000000x stronger than that toy you were messing around with, and what if he accidentally hurts you?
  * He knew it was possible for him to kill you before, but now he realizes how _easy_ it would be - so simple that he might not even realize it
  * Instantly steps back and begins avoiding physical contact with you, trying his hardest to be there for you emotionally but struggling because every time you ask him for cuddles, he awkwardly changes the subject and looks away
  * He only comes clean to you about his concerns after you get mad at him and plant yourself in his lap, wrapping your arms around his head angrily as you demand that he give you affection
  * “Beel,” You mutter, a light pout forming on your face. “The reason you’re strong isn’t just because you have the _muscles,_ it’s because you have _control._ You’ve never hurt me before, and nothing you do will hurt me now, so stop being such a stubborn goof and _hug me”_
  * Cue very hesitant hug
  * But it’s a start, and he slowly becomes physically close to you once more
  * (Subtly tries to let you stay in charge, though. He’ll initiate hugs, but you’re the one to squeeze tightly, and he’ll simply follow your lead)
  * Decides that rather than being afraid of what his strength can do, he’s going to use it to his advantage - and he resolves to become _even_ stronger so that if there’s ever anything that can cause you pain, he’ll be there by your side protecting you, whether it’s against a demon strong as Diavolo or another windup toy from Majolish
  * Gets into the habit of running his fingers over your hand after it’s done healing, checking for scars and making sure that you’re still completely healed
  * Slowly develops into handholding - and who is Beel to complain? If he’s holding your hand, he’s by your side, and if he’s by your side, he can better protect you, so there’s no problem there



###  **Belphegor**

  * Quietly blames himself
  * It apparently happened while you were alone, and you fell down the stairs in the House of Lamentation. But Belphie is 99.99% sure that you were only going up to see him, and if he had just been awake, this never would have happened
  * Not to mention, this was the _second_ time he had caused you pain, and it wasn’t even intentional!
  * Boy can’t look you in the eyes properly after the incident
  * Starts forcing himself to stay awake and isolates himself in the attic
  * Only when Beel finally gets serious and asks him what’s wrong does he quietly confess his thoughts, and his twin is quick to relay the information back to you
  * Honestly, you’re lowkey relieved when you hear the reason 
  * You were beginning to think that Belphie was avoiding you because he had grown tired of your company, and the thought was sort beginning to break your heart
  * That doesn’t stop you from yelling at him for being inconsiderate 
  * “This is why you need to _talk_ about your feelings, Belphie!”
  * “But— “
  * _“No buts!”_
  * Honestly, he’s kind of relieved to see you yell at him so animatedly despite the cast around your arm, it makes him realize that although you’re physically injured, you’re mentally fine
  * Is very hesitant about napping on you, especially since he knows that if he falls asleep and accidentally shifts into a position that hurts you, you won’t be strong enough to stop him
  * You flick his forehead and tell him to not to be stupid, insisting that he sleeps next to you like usual, and he very hesitantly leans on the shoulder of the opposite arm you injured
  * Becomes _way_ more considerate, even when tired
  * Shift in your sleep? He’s awake, checking to make sure that you aren’t uncomfortable or in pain
  * Wake up and try to get a glass of water? No problem, Belphie will get it for you, just stay here and sleep tight
  * Hogging the blanket? For the first time, Belphie doesn’t even mind, he’ll just carefully snuggle closer to you, double-checking that you’re comfortable before drifting back off to sleep
  * Even after the cast comes off, he’s still conscious about how tightly he grips you and how much physical exertion you put your body through, always reminding himself that, above all, you’re _human_ and your body can’t handle the things his can



###  **Solomon**

  * Groans
  * That’s right, thanks to an awkward fall, your toe is broken, and this wizard boy has to audacity to _groan_ at the sight of you on the floor, tears in your eyes as you clutch your foot through your shoe
  * “As if those brothers don’t hate me enough as is,” He grumbles, lifting you to your feet and whisking you back to Purgatory Hall, where he goes full medic mode and inspects the damage
  * Tries his hardest to convince you to let him fix it with magic, but just last week, he accidentally turned you into a cat while attempting to place a strength enchantment over you, so you’re _understandably_ hesitant as you refuse him
  * As expected, when the brothers find out, they put him through hell (pun intended)
  * For not being able to protect you while it happens (they ignore his complaints that it was technically _you_ who fell and injured yourself) he is now tasked with your recovery
  * Aka he is your slave
  * You make him carry your books when you go from class to class, you make him buy you lunch from the cafeteria, you make him give you his lecture notes whenever you don’t feel like paying attention in class
  * Hell, if he weren’t such a god awful cook, you would probably make him take over your cooking duty, as well
  * “This is abuse” He huffs one day, sighing in irritation after you ask him to go fetch you a glass of water
  * “I’m sorry?” You ask, feigning innocence. “What’s that? Did you ask me to go tell Lucifer that you aren’t treating me properly?”
  * Grumbles under his breath in six different languages, cursing you out in each one of them as you wink at him
  * You’re almost sad when your toe finally heals, and he’s finally free
  * Thankfully, the two of you somehow grew used to each other after spending so much time together for so long, and (much to the brothers’ displeasure) you continue hanging out with Solomon long after you’re off crutches
  * _Will_ tease you about it when it’s all over
  * He doesn’t forget about how you lorded over him for as long as you were injured, and thus takes it upon himself to make sure that you don’t get hurt again under his watch
  * (At least, that’s what he tells himself as he holds your hand to march you down the steps outside Majolish, not letting go even after the ‘threat’ is passed)



###  **Simeon**

  * confusedangel.exe
  * First and foremost, how did this happen??
  * He’s so concerned and shocked when you show up to RAD one day in crutches because you broke a bone on your leg
  * Didn’t know that was possible
  * Actually goes home and spends half an hour on the Devildom equivalent of Google trying to maneuver his phone and search up how common this is and whether it’s _normal_ for humans
  * Accidentally opens the images tab and sees a bunch of super disturbing and painful-looking injuries, and he nearly drops his phone altogether
  * Instantly assumes that your injury is as bad as those, despite your constant reassurances that you’re fine as long as you don’t apply too much pressure
  * Lots of pampering
  * He’s suddenly available 100% of the time for you, no matter what he’s already doing or the time of day
  * Insists on helping you wherever he can, like holding your stuff for you at RAD, ferrying you from class to class without forcing you to don that heavy rucksack 
  * Even takes over the responsibility of walking you to and from school
  * He doesn’t quite understand that your injury is physical??
  * Like he can’t seem to wrap his head around the fact that you’re _mentally_ unaffected by the injury, because angelic injuries are typically so difficult to induce and severe that they always cause _some_ kind of trauma 
  * He’s always testing you - double-checking that you remember facts from old lectures, holding up fingers to test your sight, even asking you details about _himself_ every now and then
  * ~~That’s actually the story of how you accidentally told him that you thought his eyes were prettier than the sky and he still hasn’t forgotten it~~
  * Never really forgets about your injury, even after your crutches are long gone
  * Protectiveness goes up by 5000%
  * He suddenly becomes acutely aware of the fact that you’re surrounded by demons and, although the brothers usually mean well, he becomes impossible concerned for how you’re faring
  * He expresses his concerns to you one day really sweetly and you’re so touched because ??? How can someone be this pure???
  * To ease his concerns, you both start hanging out a lot more - when before you mostly hung out at the RAD library before parting ways, Simeon now invites you over to Purgatory Hall more often and you bring him back to the House of Lamentation so that he can see how safe you are with the brothers



###  **Luke**

  * Just like Simeon, there’s _so much confusion_ going on inside this smol bean’s head
  * Are you really telling him that you??? the person who has taken it upon themself to be protective over HIM??? are so weak and fragile??? that tripping over a _pebble_ was enough to fracture your jaw???
  * The roles in your relationship are suddenly reversed
  * (Or well, Luke _tries_ to reverse them)
  * He does his best to be there for _you_ instead of vice versa, insisting that you no longer need to save him from the brothers when they make fun of him for being like a chihuahua 
  * Lowkey, he actually earns their respect for how protective he’s suddenly being over you, but the baby can only go so far because - face it - he’s basically ten years old
  * Doesn’t let that stop him from shooting dirty looks toward any demon who looks at the bandages on your face twice
  * Immediately goes home and researches what kind of foods you can comfortably eat, and enlists both Barbatos and Beel’s help in cooking soft dishes for you that you’ll be able to eat, despite your injury
  * Does his best to help you where he can
  * Takes over your cooking duty at the House of Lamentation
  * Takes extra-detailed notes so he can lend them to you after class
  * Even goes as far as to get high-quality Celestial bandages with natural healing properties and gives them to you, hoping that everything he’s doing will make your recovery a little bit faster
  * He’s really come to look up to you as an older sibling, so seeing you injured (even if you don’t necessarily show the pain) has him seriously torn up inside, and it takes all his effort to keep a straight face every time he looks at you and sees the bandages on your face
  * If you’re even a little self-conscious about any scars afterwards, he will spend _hours_ convincing you that you look fine (and in truth, he can’t actually see the scar anymore, so he’s being honest)
  * Long after you’re recovered, he will remember at the most random times that you’re so _fragile_ despite always looking so strong, and it tears him up inside
  * Because of this, random, tearful hugs become the norm
  * Occasionally, one look is all it takes before his eyes are welling with tears and he’s burying his face inside your stomach, holding you tight and promising to “protect you to make sure that you never get hurt again”
  * Very innocent, very sweet
  * Never fully forgets ever again _just_ how fragile humans are



###  **Barbatos**

  * Knew it could happen
  * Was sort of prepared for it to happen
  * Didn’t _actually_ expect it to fucking happen
  * This is probably one of the only times where he regrets not using his powers to check and see what the future held - literally, it would have been _so_ easy to have saved you had he _known_ it was coming 
  * Went to Diavolo asking to switch timelines but the demon lord said no
  * Highkey becomes incredibly protective of you, just in super subtle ways
  * You suddenly find yourself invited to Diavolo’s palace much more often, and it’s Barbatos who now entertains you, bringing you there under the guise of asking you to “taste the new recipes” he’s attempting to perfect
  * Pfft, his recipes are already the definition of perfect - the only reason he’s putting that food in your mouth is because he cast a spell on it, and it’ll make your bones stronger
  * Dodges all questions when you ask about it, real slick
  * “Barbatos, isn’t this the same dish you gave Beel when we came here last month?”
  * “I’m afraid I have no recollection of what you’re talking about.”
  * “You know, the dessert you gave him after he asked you for the biggest banana spli—”
  * “Oh my, would you look at the time. Let’s get you home, now, before it gets too late” 
  * Used to walk in front of you when walking you around the palace, but he now walks behind you so that he can watch you in case you trip
  * I mean, why wouldn’t he? You managed to _break your collarbone_ while jumping down the stairs in Diavolo’s palace - you clearly can’t be trusted to look after your _own_ health
  * (lowkey also never leaves you unsupervised around Mammon again, who in hell thinks it’s a good idea to try _parkour_ of all things in the castle of the demon lord??? and _encourages_ it?????)
  * Finds it incredibly endearing when your injury renders you unable to do basic tasks
  * Like if you were a helpless human in his mind before, now you’re less independent than an unpottytrained demonchild, and Barbatos is living for it, especially since you’re too stubborn to ask the brothers for help, so you turn to him instead
  * Absolutely loves when you text him for help
  * [17:39] MC: barbatos?
  * [17:40] Barbatos: Yes? Are you in need of something?
  * [17:40] MC: ...i was walking around the House of Lamentation and i accidentally banged into the wall outside Satan’s room and there was a really big sound and it turns out that i knocked a bunch of his books off the shelf and he comes home in half an hour and please help he’s going to kill me if he sees what happened
  * [17:40] Barbatos:
  * [17:41] Barbatos: I’ll be right there.



###  **Diavolo**

  * Oh boy
  * This man has lived a long, LONG time and never in all those millennia has he been as _pissed_ as he is now, seeing you sheepishly lean on Mammon for support with the nearly all of your leg hanging limp
  * What he can’t grasp is the fact that this actually happened in _school_
  * Like, it would be one thing if a demon had injured you out of spite - he could simply punish them for all eternity and eradicate the root of the problem
  * But for you to be injured this severely? In _spellcasting_ class, no less?
  * Instantly fires the teacher who was careless enough to let you walk into a casting circle which almost obliterated you whole - and spends _ages_ commending Satan for having the wit to save you before things got even worse
  * But that doesn’t stop him from using the full extent of his princely power to ensure your continued safety
  * Instantly moves you out of the House of Lamentation and into his own palace, ignoring Lucifer’s repeated requests for you to not be moved
  * “I need to make sure they’re _comfortable,”_ He hisses to his right-hand man, almost to Barbatos’s amusement. “The healing process for humans is _long_ , and I need to make sure that they get better _without_ the distractions your brothers provide”
  * Makes it _painfully_ clear that if you ever get injured again under an RAD teacher’s watch, nothing will be able to save them from the unforgiving flames of his wrath
  * Starts spending as much time with you as humanly possible 
  * He always stops by your room in the afternoon, generally to check on your well being and to inquire on how you’re faring, but those conversations always seem to wrap up late at night, long after you’ve both abandoned the original topic at hand and are lost in discussion over something else
  * One time, when he was feeling particularly guilty after looking at the painful swelling on your leg, he invited you back to his own room to sleep on his bed because - as the acting _king_ of the Devildom - his bed is _literally_ the most comfortable place in the world and he hardly uses it
  * You sleep in it once and can never sleep anywhere else again
  * For more reasons than one
  * ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 
  * (Reluctantly) offers to let you move back into the House of Lamentation once you’re completely healed, but celebrates like crazy when you tell him that you’d much rather stay with him, and it becomes SUCH an ego stroke every time you remind him how much you adore it in his palace
  * Lowkey grateful that you got injured because it was the catalyst that allowed you both to grow close
  * But will absolutely make sure that nothing of the like ever happens again




	2. They see MC's sketchbook!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Art. It’s a private thing. Showing someone your work is akin to showing them a piece of your soul, an insight into who you are and everything that lies within. So when the Obey Me! boys get a glimpse of your sketchbook, they find themselves wanting for more—and all in different ways. ___
> 
> __Word Count: 6.0k_ _
> 
> __*Mild NSFW themes for Asmo & Diavolo_ _
> 
> __Characters: All Brothers + All Undateables + Luke_ _

###  **Lucifer**

  * At the beginning of the year, there is 0 trust between the two of you
  * Not only has he actively tried to _kill_ you, but he’s already so suspicious of the pacts you’re making with his brothers that he can’t help but be wary every time you cross paths
  * So when he realizes that you’re always absentmindedly scribbling in a notepad every time you interact, he’s more than a little perturbed by it
  * 100% thinks you’re secretly taking notes on his and his brothers’ behavior to use it against them
  * So, _obviously,_ when he next sees you using it in his presence, he wastes no time in snatching the notebook from your hands
  * “Oh hey, Lucif—what are you _doing?!”_
  * “Nothing you should be concerned with, human.”
  * “That’s _my_ sketchbook you’re holding!”
  * “Sketchbook?”
  * Instantly flips it open and sure enough, inside there’s nothing but doodles and sketches
  * luci.is.confuzzled.exe
  * He’s still convinced that there must be _something_ incriminating in the book, so he continues flipping through it. But the more he sees, the more he realizes how _wrong_ he is
  * It’s only when he flips to the section with _his_ family that he begins to feel guilty
  * In the beginning, you just draw basic poses. Mammon, glancing at you over his shoulder. Asmo, posing for a camera. Beel, about to bite down on a hamburger. 
  * But the further he goes, the more elaborate the sketches get, and as he flips through the pages, he can feel the amount of _work_ that has gone into each piece
  * And then he gets to the page where you drew him
  * Keep it lowkey, but he thinks his heart stopped for a second
  * He stares at the picture and wonders if _that’s_ what you see every time he shifts into his demon form, because for the first time since his fall, he can’t help but think about how _beautiful_ he looks. Everything looks so _right_ in your art style, from the diamond on his forehead to the way his wings flutter out of his back.
  * It’s _perfection_
  * “I’m confiscating this,” He says quickly, not looking you in the eye.
  * He then escapes the room faster than you’ve ever seen, and never speaks of the incident again to you
  * But roughly a week later, you find a small red book on your pillow, and you _know_ that it's a sketchbook from him, to replace the one he took
  * And even later—after the two of you grow close—you find your old sketchbook stored in his most secure drawer, locked away with a key he keeps hidden. And you _know_ that he’s spent hours looking through the book on rough nights, through the doodles of him and his brothers and everything else you’ve ever drawn
  * And though he’s too proud to admit it, you know he loves your art 



###  **Mammon**

  * He found it when he was going through your stuff, absentmindedly checking to see if you had any valuables on you
  * And the moment he flipped open to see your little notebook of doodles, his mind went _B I N G O_
  * He loves your art the second he sees it, spending a whole _hour_ just sitting on your bedroom floor, flipping through the pages
  * Adores everything about your art style
  * And when he starts to see the little doodles you do of his brothers, he’s even more enraptured
  * You draw all the things he’s imagined but never seen: a sketch of Lucifer dressed in a onesie, snuggling a giant teddy bear. Beel, using a sleeping Belphie as a food tray for a pile of snacks as large as the sixth-born himself. Asmo with cat ears, being chased by Solomon, who appears to be a wolf.
  * And yet, there are no pictures of Mammon
  * Man is _hurt_ by the fact that you’ve drawn all his brothers but not _him._ He’s your first man, after all. You should have been the _first_ person he drew!
  * Gets a bit upset about it and throws your sketchbook back into the drawer he found it in, stomping back to his room with childlike indignation
  * Is just a _bit_ petty about it afterward
  * “Hey, Mammon, can you walk me to school? Class starts in half an hour.”
  * “Huh? Oh, so _now_ ya want me to do it, huh? Well, why don’t you ask _Asmo_ instead?”
  * “Okay? I will???”
  * Soon everyone in the house has realized that Mammon’s being a bit _off_ , and while it was nice at first to have peace and quiet from the resident troublemaker, you guys grow concerned pretty quick
  * And eventually, you go to his room to talk things out
  * Let’s just say that when you found out he’d been going through your stuff, you were _not_ pleased. But seeing that _he_ wasn’t going to be the mature one, you sucked it up and whacked the demon on the back of his head, telling him to “wait a second” while you went to “get something”
  * Cue the retrieval of your second sketchbook 
  * And when Mammon sees it, he’s not sure what he feels more of: guilt or happiness
  * _Every_ single page in this second notebook is of him. Only a few are colored, but Mammon finds himself enraptured by even the casual doodles in the corners, where he’s doing little things like eating a banana or flashing the viewer a few Grimm
  * Man is _touched_. He’s never had anyone do this for him, and certainly not out of their own volition. So suffice it to say that when he tackled you for a hug that night, he didn’t let you go for a _long_ time
  * And maybe some other stuff happened too. Who knows? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)



###  **Leviathan**

  * TSL
  * The second Levi sees you sketching in your artbook (after an incoherent stumble of words which you assume are synonymous with praise), the only phrase coming out of this man’s mouth is _TSL_
  * Begins _begging_ you to draw fanart of the Shadow Lord, asking you to sketch him in different outfits, draw him in different poses, put him in various backgrounds, etc.
  * Basically wants you to bring his imagination to life
  * “Oh! Oh! Can you draw him baking a cake now? Wouldn’t that be so cool?!”
  * Absolutely does the wwooooooOOOOOAAAHAHHHHHHH sound effect every single time you show him your work, even if you’ve only made minor changes from the last time you showed him
  * He takes you on a spending spree, pulling up Akuzon and offering to pay for _whatever_ supplies you want if you’ll just make him a super fancy poster
  * And so you start
  * It actually gets to be a pretty good way to grow closer: every day, after school, you head up to Levi’s room to work on the poster he asked you to make him. In exchange, he lets you borrow his manga and you guys watch anime together
  * Eventually, boi gets the idea of throwing _Ruri-chan_ into the poster, and the second he thinks it he won’t shut up about it
  * “Oh, come on! You can do it—look, just put her in this little corner right here!”
  * “How many times do I have to tell you, Levi?! Ruri-chan and the Shadow Lord are two _completely_ different characters who are meant to be drawn in _completely_ different art styles! If I mush Ruri-chan into the corner, it’ll ruin the poster’s dynamic!”
  * “But pleeeeeaaaassseeeee?”
  * Cue extra pouty Levi
  * Eventually, you agree to make a _separate_ drawing of Ruri-chan for Levi to hang up next to the poster, because you think that otherwise, he’ll go crazy
  * When the date rolls around where you’re almost done with everything, Levi formally sends out an invitation to _everyone_ of importance
  * Man invites everyone from Luke to Diavolo over for the “revealing ceremony” where he plans to hang the poster on his wall
  * ~~Actually tried to get the demon king to come as well, but Lucifer stopped him before he could get an invitation out~~
  * When everyone sees what you’ve been working on for so many weeks, they’re all MEGA impressed because hello??? they did not know you were this skilled???
  * It quickly turns into a competition, with each one of them trying to outdo each other with how vigorously they can compliment you
  * And soon enough you find yourself swamped with requests from every other demon in the room, begging you to make them something as elaborate as you did Levi



###  **Satan**

  * It’s a system you guys have set up, where every Tuesday and Thursday night, you’ll sit in the common room on the couch facing each other and will simply open your books to do what you will
  * You always draw, and Satan always reads
  * And neither will bother the other until the grandfather clock chimes twelve times, whereupon you both bid each other goodnight and wait for the next session where you do it all over
  * Except for today, that is
  * “What are you drawing?” 
  * Ah, there it is
  * The one question you were hoping Satan would never ask
  * You subtly (incredibly awkwardly) change the subject, commenting on the color of Satan’s jacket to distract him from his inquiry, and he picks up on the hint, quietly huffing as he turns back to his book 
  * But the mild irritation he feels doesn’t let him _fully_ delve back into the realm of the nonfiction novel he was reading, so he’s more than a little distracted as he goes back to reading about human anthropology
  * And it’s in this state of distraction that he notices the little glances you’re stealing every so often, before returning to your sketchpad
  * Yeah, it doesn’t take long for Satan to put two and two together
  * “Are you drawing _me?”_
  * An incredulous question, asked in such an offending tone
  * He sounds so _irate_ by the fact that you can’t help but helplessly deny it, muttering something about drawing plants and flowers instead
  * But Satan doesn’t believe it, and in an instant he’s standing behind you, staring at the sketch in your hands which has oh-so- _beautifully_ captured the essence of him on the couch, engrossed in a book with the light from the flames in the fireplace flickering gently against his skin
  * The anger at being drawn without having agreed to it quickly melts into a quiet awe for your skill
  * “Can I see your other drawings?” He asks gently, no longer irritated but actually _impressed_
  * “I-I’m not sure if you’ll want to—”
  * “Nonsense. Show me.”
  * And so you do
  * You hand him the sketchbook, avoiding his eyes as he flips to the _very_ first page—and imagine his surprise when he sees that even _that_ is a sketch of his face, though the artwork is significantly less advanced than the piece he just saw. Satan flips to the next page, and then the next, and the next, and sure enough: they’re all of him
  * “I-I just needed a model to practice my artwork on,” You mumble, gaze fixated on the couch. “And you were _right_ there, so I couldn’t resist...and then I needed a model again. And again. And you were always there, and I _know_ I never asked, but I’m sorry, and if you don’t want me to, I won’t—“
  * “Nonsense,” Satan murmurs, pressing a finger to your lips. His smile has never looked as _sincere_ as it looks now, his gaze flickering back and forth between your face and the sketchbook in his hands
  * “I’ll be your model, if you so desire it. Just tell me how you want me to sit.”



###  **Asmodeus**

  * Your model for everything
  * You’re trying to draw the Hulk and you a good frame of reference? And you need a really muscular model? And Beel ABSOLUTELY fits the bill? 
  * Yeah no, Asmo’s your model
  * You want to draw a child? Someone small and short, roughly the exact same height as Luke (who is an ANGEL and would _absolutely_ help you)? Yeah no, Asmo’s still going to be your model.
  * Want a cute guy? Asmo. Cute _girl?_ Asmo. Cute _animal?_ Still Asmo.
  * Man refuses to leave you alone - the second he learns that you’re an artist he _insists_ on gracing your work with the holy sight of his body
  * ~~Highkey wants to model nude~~
  * And you’d be lying if you said that he was a bad model—man can hold a pose for _hours_ without moving even a little, his only fault is that he talks _incessantly_ —but you can easily quiet him by saying that you’re drawing his lips - and the moment you do so, he’s suddenly he’s stiller than a statue, doing his absolute best to remain frozen so that you can capture his perfection
  * Boi posts 100% of your content on his Devilgram, and while you were hesitant about it at first, now you’re just used to it
  * Thanks to him, you’re a lowkey celebrity
  * Like demons _love_ your art style 
  * It’s apparently very refreshing and _human_ -like as compared to the dark and dreary art found in the Devildom, so people go wild over Asmo’s Devilgram page for it
  * ~~Man thinks that they’d go even _more_ wild if you drew something where he modeled nude~~
  * In fact, it’s lowkey a business deal that the two of you have - you allow Asmo to post your work on his Devilgram (giving credit to you, of course), and in exchange he pays for all your art supplies, acts as your model (though that’s really more of _him_ wanting to than it being your choice), and even goes as far as to keep Mammon apart from you while you work, insisting that you need “privacy” and “quiet” while you draw
  * 100% acts like he isn’t even _more_ chatty than Mammon when given the chance
  * On the bright side, it’s thanks to these weekly art sessions where you draw and Asmo models and talks that you’re always up to date on the latest gossip. You’re 100% caught up with the fact that Zahhak just found out he has _another_ illegitimate son and that Baphomet just liked Rusalka’s post from _fourteen_ centuries ago
  * So yeah, the two of you have a mutually beneficial relationship
  * ~~Asmodeus still insists that one thing would make it better though: him modeling nude~~
  * But Asmo is a sweetheart about everything, and he goes out of his way to pamper you 
  * Specifically, your hands—after all, those are what work your artistic magic!
  * Expect him to _always_ be peppering your dominant hand with kisses, massaging it whenever you look tired, giving you weekly manicures completely free of charge, all out of the goodness of Asmo’s heart
  * ~~*ahem* and weekly requests to model nude~~



###  **Beelzebub**

  * a m a z e m e n t 
  * Boi is _entranced_
  * Like, he’s so _mesmerized_ by your art that he’s not even paying attention to the food sitting _right_ in front of him, simply opting to stare more intently at the drawing you’re holding up so eagerly
  * It’s quite beautiful, really: The seven demon brothers surrounding you, a reworking of a photograph Lucifer took a few months ago but in _your_ art style. And for that last fact, Beel thinks he likes this version better
  * “Wow,” He finally manages to say, still too impressed to really think of anything else
  * He lets his brothers shower you in praise and compliments, silently nodding along and agreeing with every plaudit they thrust your way
  * But the moment you’re alone, _expect_ to be scooped into his arms and carried to his room
  * Boi _instantly_ wants to know the process
  * When do you draw? How long does it take? Where do you do it? How are you getting your supplies? Who pays?
  * It’s not so much the physical process he’s interested in, but rather the nuances of art that make your work look so _you._ He’s not interested in learning for the sake of _doing,_ but simply for the sake of _understanding_ because he already appreciates your art so much
  * Absolutely invites you to his room to have you show him the art process the next time you start working on a piece
  * And after the first time, then, he invites you back a second - then a third - and then the two of you have settled into a routine where after school, you come to his room and pencil away in your sketchpad, with Beel watching in the background, munching on snacks
  * It’s quite relaxing for him, actually
  * He likes _watching_ as you bring a piece together, going over previously flat areas with a second layer of shading to make certain elements _pop_ —and even if he doesn’t completely understand _what_ you’re doing, he’s entirely willing to learn, listening peacefully as you explain what the various tools do
  * By the end of the month, man has actually _memorized_ all the names of your supplies, handing them to you every time you ask for it - be it something as simple as a request for an eraser or just the blending stump
  * Lowkey, your work has actually _improved_ since you began working up in Beel’s room
  * Not only does he have the most _comfortable_ setup, but the man pampers you like royalty, always making sure that there’s water or food for you in case you need something
  * (And if you _do_ happen to require something that isn’t already in Beel’s room, man will 100% get it for you so that you don’t have to stop what you’re doing)
  * Honestly, it’s the perfect arrangement: he gives you the ideal working space and you give him hours upon hours of intrigue
  * And if you _happen_ to begin sitting in his lap one day while you work, something which quickly turns into a pattern, who’s there to stop anything? ;)



###  **Belphegor**

  * Man naps
  * _A lot_
  * And you just happen to be his favorite pillow, so it’s hardly a surprise when all your free time is spent in the presence of a dozing Belphie, always passed out over your legs
  * So once, _just once_ , you pull your sketchpad out from under your pillow and work on it, a cautious eye trained on the seventh-born’s every move in case he stirs
  * And when that first time goes smoothly, you pull your sketchpad out a second time
  * Then a third
  * Then a fourth - and suddenly, you’re caught in a pattern
  * It was really just a matter of _time_ until Belphie woke up one day and you didn’t notice
  * And it’s already too late when the drowsy demon lifts his head, peering curiously onto your lap to see what you’re working on—much to your _horror_
  * “Y-you’re awake,” You mutter halfheartedly, a sick feeling settling in your stomach as you watch the demon’s expression shift as he studies your artwork
  * You _hate_ it
  * A bubble of anxiety begins to rise, fear over whether he will like your work or call it bad, whether he’ll make fun of your work or tell the brothers, whether he’ll be _kind_ about it or mean
  * But then, much to your surprise, he flops back onto your lap, utterly unphased
  * “Nice,” The demon comments casually, stretching as he rests his head along your thigh. “It’s pretty.”
  * You can only blink as he falls back asleep, utterly _confused_ as to what just happened
  * He woke up, right? And he saw your art? And he _complimented_ it, telling you that he thought it was nice and pretty?
  * A sound of disbelief escapes your mouth as you try to process the utter _nonchalance_ with which the whole exchange had concluded with, your shock only interrupted by the light sound of Belphie, who’s _already_ snoring
  * You groan
  * But now that Belphie has _seen_ your work, it’s not like there’s much point in hiding it any longer, right?
  * You pull your sketchbook out, silently continuing to work on the design that the man napping on your lap had said to be “nice,” adding some finishing touches to it 
  * And when Belphie wakes up, he speaks nothing of the entire exchange
  * From that point and onward, you become a little more comfortable around him, relieved that you don’t need to _talk_ about it with him
  * And he gets it
  * For all your free time, while he naps, you draw, and the two of you find a comfortable form of _peace_ together, an odd tranquility lurking in the fact that there are no questions, no answers, just you and him, the sound of scribbling and snoring, your sketchpad and his pillow
  * And really _,_ who needs anything else?



###  **Solomon**

  * He’s probably the first one to realize, on his own, that you’re an artist
  * The two of you have nearly all your classes together, thanks to Lord Diavolo, so it’s hardly surprising when the ever-astute sorcerer _picks up_ on the fact that every time he casts you a second glance, you’re working on some mysterious sketch underneath your desk
  * Doesn’t really care at first
  * Until he _sees_ your work
  * Man actually _stops_ when he picks your sketchbook up off the ground, inspecting the page it had flipped open to after you dropped it
  * “Holy shit”
  * Doesn’t even _ask_ for permission, he just begins browsing through the sketchbook, growing more and more impressed with each new page he sees
  * You only snatch the book back from his hands when you realize that the sketch he’s staring at so intently is one you drew of _him,_ thanking him for picking it up with a huff and awkwardly trying to remove yourself from the situation as fast as humanly (heh, yes that is a pun) possible
  * Wizard boy stops you, ofc
  * “Come with me”
  * “But I have class soon—" 
  * Again, doesn’t even _wait_ for your agreement, man just drags you by the forearm to the library and flips open a book, throws down his _own_ notebook, and demands that you use your “art skills or whatever” to help him
  * Sigh
  * Precious wizard boy isn’t very good with words when he’s all worked up
  * It takes you a good 5 minutes to understand that he wants you to compare the summoning circle outlined on the book with the one he sketched to identify where he went wrong, because apparently you have an “artist’s eye” and therefore you should be able to assist him - and he _refuses_ to believe you when you try to convince him that _no,_ this is not your strong suit and you will likely be unable to help him
  * He gets whinier than Asmo (probably where he gets it from) and will _not_ stop nagging you even as you try to leave, so eventually you just give in and agree to try to help him - and it wounds up being surprisingly easy for you to realize that he missed the secondary outline of the inner circle, among another few minor mistakes
  * Huh, maybe you _are_ naturally inclined toward this
  * From that moment and onward, Solomon decides that you are officially valuable (not only do you have magical potential, but you have an eye for summoning circles _too?_ how UNFAIR) and begins spending all his time with you
  * Doesn’t really care about the fact that you’re an artist at first—is really more interested in how your skills can be _applied_
  * But then one day, after a particularly rough night of going through twelve whole summoning circles for twelve powerful demons, he takes a nap and wakes up to find you passed out on the floor, sleeping on top of your sketchbook where you fell asleep doodling _him_
  * Highkey touched
  * And slowly, he begins casually “falling asleep” around you more often, to see and flip through more of your artwork when he wakes up 
  * Sigh
  * Bby is fucking shady even when he does wholesome shit



###  **Simeon**

  * Okay let’s be real
  * There’s no _peace_ with the seven demon brothers _._ Solomon is _chaotic_. Luke, as much as we love him, is just a _lot_ to be around. And even with Barbatos next to him, Diavolo is a walking tornado that tends to wreak havoc whenever he wills it (and he usually wills it).
  * So honestly, being with Simeon is the only place of _tranquility_ you can find in the entire Devildom
  * Specifically, his room
  * *Which is off-limits to all the aforementioned individuals
  * He extended the invitation for you to spend some “relaxation time” in his quarters whenever you pleased at the beginning of the year, his angelic heart already sensing the absolute whirlwind of disaster you were walking into when you joined RAD
  * And while you declined his offer immediately out of _politeness_ , you found yourself sheepishly knocking on his door not one week into the program
  * And now it’s become an every-day sort of thing
  * So yeah
  * Simeon knows about your art
  * In fact, you can’t seem to draw _unless_ you’re in his presence, because at this point, he naturally _soothes_ you so much that your hand is only steady when you hear the sound of his calm breathing in the background
  * In fact, you work best when the two of you are spread out on his couch, your back resting comfortably on Simeon’s shoulder while he writes (yes, he manually writes all his books on pen and paper) and you put your legs up on the couch, sketching away in your notebook
  * It’s the very image of _peace_ , something you can’t seem to find anywhere else in this realm
  * And Simeon, bless his heart, may be a master of calligraphy, but the precious angel cannot draw to save his life - a fact which you have taken it upon yourself to handle
  * See, the angel gets tired every now and then—understandable, given that he produces literal _masterpieces_ at his hands
  * And so when he gets tired, what does he do? 
  * Make incomprehensible doodles in the upper left corners of his papers
  * So, of course, you’ve taken it upon yourself to bring those doodles to life (even if it requires a half-hour of inspection before you can make out what the sketch was _supposed_ to be) and Simeon _loves_ it
  * The expression of _eagerness_ that surfaces every time you inform him that you’ve finished a piece is _so_ rewarding, because the childlike glee with which he takes the paper from your hands to inspect it always sends a rush of warmth to your heart as he gushes in appreciation
  * But uh 
  * Simeon is a _special_ kind of chaotic, something that manifests every time he doodles something on paper
  * You stare at the angel in disbelief as he informs you that his latest doodle (what appears to be a banana-looking creature in sunglasses?) was actually a monkey ironing clothes—unsure _what_ to say in light of this information
  * But it’s okay :) There only needs to be one artist in this relationship, and it clearly isn’t him



###  **Luke**

  * It started with cake
  * He needed “inspiration” to make something for Barbatos, as a thank-you gift for the pastry lessons the elder gave him, but Luke claimed that everything he made, while it tasted fine, lacked in the _aesthetic_ department
  * And while normally you would play it Simeon-style, leaving it to the younger angel to handle things on his own so that he can grow individually, you felt too _bad_ watching him discard another batch of cupcakes into Beel’s mouth, rubbing his head in aggravation over how _annoying_ it was that nothing was looking right
  * So you helped him out
  * It was nothing major, really
  * Just eight doodles—subtle yet elegant designs for a triple-tiered cake, childish and bouncy arrangements to store flan, little details in frosting to give cupcakes the added element of _specialty_ that makes them infinitely better
  * But the second Luke saw your paper, he went wild
  * Boi was running to the kitchen so fast he barely even had the time to shout “thank you” 
  * Apparently, your little sketches sparked inspiration in him so strongly that the flames burned til midnight (much to Simeon’s disapproval), but when Luke was _finally_ done with everything, he walked out of the kitchen with a tray of desserts that looked so _perfect_ it was hard to imagine that he brought them to life from _your_ sketches
  * Luke spent _ages_ thanking you, shoving desserts down your throat even when you insisted that you were full, so unimaginably _grateful_ that you helped him out of what he called “chef’s block”
  * Each “thank you” was accompanied either a brownie or a slice of mango mousse or whatever new pastry Luke was creating that day, and before long you were getting to enjoy luxury foods on the daily (much to Beel’s jealousy)
  * Boy only believed that the debt was paid when you told him that there _was_ no debt to pay, that you sketched those quick little doodles for him out of _kindness_ and not _obligation_
  * Believe it or not, Luke’s eyes actually welled with tears for a second at that, before he wrapped you up in a giant ~~(is it really giant if the hugger is so little?)~~ hug, wailing something about you being too “pure” and “perfect” for the Devildom, and that one day you would be very happy in the Celestial Realm
  * You pat his head, telling him that if it _truly_ made him this happy, you would be glad to help him out again and sketch some food doodles whenever he wanted some new ideas
  * Cue another round of hugs, muffled crying, and sobs about how amazing you are



###  **Barbatos**

  * Barbatos knew, of course
  * Not because he used his powers or anything, he would hardly use them for something so trivial, but he was aware from the start that you were an artist because it was _he_ who prepared for your arrival in the Devildom, ensuring that you had all the same amenities and comforts you were used to in the human realm
  * And, as such, that included art supplies
  * So the very moment he set his eyes on you, he was _aware_ that you were an artist
  * What he _didn’t_ expect was for you to _actually_ be good at it
  * He sees your sketchbook when he’s casually strolling through the RAD library, finding you completely knocked out on one of the tables, the spiral binding of the sketchpad still digging indents into your cheek where you lie on top of it
  * At first, the butler rearranges your position as a _courtesy_
  * He lifts your head and rests it on your hand - which makes a much softer pillow - coincidentally placing your books back inside your bag and taking a moment to organize the papers strewn across the desk
  * But then he just _happens_ to glance inside
  * And the second he does, he’s mesmerized
  * There’s not much in the world that can surprise Barbatos - not after he’s looked after _Diavolo,_ of all people, for so many millennia - but the butler still finds himself holding his breath as he flips through your sketchpad, each piece telling a story so _evocative_ that it leaves him wanting more even when he arrives at a blank page, abruptly realizing that he’s just gone through your entire sketchbook without your permission
  * Of course, you just _have_ to wake up at that precise moment - sleepy eyes glancing up at the butler and wondering if you’re hallucinating, but the book in his hands is far too _real_ and the shocked expression on his face is _impossibly_ jarring and you flinch, suddenly feeling self-conscious as you realize what must have happened
  * Barbatos is a perfect gentleman about it, kindly telling you to get more rest so that you _don’t_ pass out in a public library surrounded by demons who want to eat your soul, but he ends the sharp warning with a rather kind remark about your artwork
  * “I liked the second-last piece best,” He murmurs, casting you a cryptic smile before bidding you farewell
  * And _obviously_ , the moment he’s out of sight, your nose is buried in your sketchbook, fingers flipping furiously to find the second-last piece you drew which you _cannot_ seem to remember _at all,_ and—
  * _Oh_
  * A flush immediately erupts on your cheeks as you see the colored sketch, something inspired by nothing more than a whim
  * It’s simply two people on a walk—both of them vague imitations of what your mind had wistfully conjured up—one of them bearing the telltale mismatched hair and olive green eyes, the other sharing a quiet resemblance to yourself - a conscious decision, of course
  * But just as you’re about to flip off the page, another detail you’d forgotten about draws your attention—and your cheeks suddenly burn in embarrassment as you realize why Barbatos singled _this_ piece out
  * The figures are smiling, gazing at each other from the corners of their eyes. And there, in the very center of the piece, it is obvious: 
  * They are holding hands



###  **Diavolo**

  * RIP to Diavolo’s royal painter
  * They have been replaced
  * _By you_
  * As much as you fought it, as much as you argued that you were not fitting of this position, as much as you _pleaded_ with the demon lord to _not_ force this title upon your shoulders, Diavolo’s decision to appoint you as the honorary Devildom painter was final—and nothing can change his mind once it’s made up
  * The title is really just that: a title. Diavolo knows that you’re a busy student, and while he honored your artistic talents with this position, he’s not about to _actually_ force you through the expected proceedings of a true royal painter, not while you’re trying to survive being an exchange student in hell with an entirely unfamiliar curriculum in front of you
  * But on _occasion_ , he’ll send you a text, asking if you’re free
  * And you’ll head on over to his palace, ready to paint him
  * And unlike every other demon, angel, and human in the Devildom, when Diavolo models for you, he _actually_ models nude
  * Asmo is jealous
  * Sexual tension is _high_ when you paint him, let’s just leave things at that
  * And honestly, it really doesn’t matter _what_ you paint - Diavolo seems to be more interested in the fact that it’s a _human_ who did the art in the first place
  * He once saw your RAD binder, noticing the little doodles you’d drawn on the corner of all your papers, and he immediately took them—declaring that they were _art_ to be _preserved_ for all eternity for _historical documentation_ purposes
  * So yeah
  * There’s a hall in Diavolo’s palace filled with your RAD math homework, an eternal reminder of the assignments you copied off of Solomon
  * (You’re not sure what’s more embarrassing: the fact that you’ve drawn some rather _inappropriate_ doodles on those pages or the fact that, despite having copied all the answers, you _still_ managed to get nearly one-third of the problems wrong, and now your mistakes are to be showcased in the Devildom for centuries to come)
  * It gets to the point where you and Solomon start making bets over how _basic_ you can get with your art for Diavolo to still consider it “amazing” and “utterly awe-inspiring,” as he likes to put it
  * In honor of that bet, there is currently a banana peel with a few marker doodles on it hanging in a preserved case in an iced room in the lowest levels of the palace, as none of the “art” can be wasted
  * But in truth, the demon lord’s fixation with human culture is _endearing_ , especially when Diavolo tries so hard to be accepting of it
  * So eventually you stop giving Diavolo wacky art and actually start putting your full effort into your creations—your reward being the fact that the final piece you complete gets hung in Diavolo’s private bedroom, where he promises to gaze at it every night for the rest of eternity, vowing to remember his time with you every time he sees it




	3. Married life with the boys!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _With one chaotic human and a handful of boys too attractive for their own good, it's always been a simple matter of time before love found its way into the Devildom. And where love blooms, marriage often follows—and nothing will stop these boys from giving their human all the love in the world. ___
> 
> Word Count: 5.9k
> 
> Mild NSFW themes for Beel & Diavolo ;)
> 
> Characters: All Brothers + Undateables - Luke

###  **Lucifer**

  * It highkey _blows_ everyone’s mind when the two of you get married
  * Because _absolutely nothing_ changes
  * Lucifer still reprimands you if you do something ridiculous, he still crosses his arms and frowns when you tease him, he still sends a scowl your way when you mess around with Diavolo - if anything, the two of you are _distant_ , and alarmingly so to everyone who gazes upon the supposedly happy couple
  * But that’s only because they can’t see what goes down in private
  * And yes - the grass _is_ greener behind the closed door of Lucifer’s study
  * It was different when the two of you were simply in a relationship: Lucifer’s pride was always _there_. He would allow you to have your way with him, touch his hair and kiss him and hold him, but he could only reciprocate _so much_
  * But now that you’re married?
  * If anything, Lucifer’s pride dictates that he now _has_ to be open with you, the single person he trusts more than anyone else in the world
  * Something that he can only do in private
  * And honestly - you _savor_ moments when you’re alone with him because of it
  * For the first time, _he_ is the one to initiate contact. The barrier of pride is _broken_ , and in its place lingers Lucifer’s neverending desire to be wrapped in your arms
  * It doesn’t matter if you’re smaller than him, you are big spoon
  * You _pamper_ him, giving him all the forehead kisses and tight hugs and quiet handholding he could ever desire. And in exchange, he finally becomes _honest_ with his emotions - finally casting his pride away so that he can _ask_ you when he wants a hug, when he wants a kiss, when he’s needy for affection and love, and he wants you to give it
  * It’s reached the point where he _only_ wants to be alone with you, eternally savoring the feeling of your arms around him and pulling him closer - finally _vocal_ about his desires 
  * But he does feel guilty that he can only do this behind closed doors
  * So slowly, very slowly, he tries to sacrifice his pride and begin treating you different _publicly_
  * It starts small: a more tender voice whenever he addresses you, a secondary “are you sure?” whenever he’s worried that you’re uncomfortable, a ghost of a smile on his lips when you laugh so merrily
  * But soon, it morphs into small touches: fingers brushing against each other when you walk, a hand on your back when you’re next to each other, standing closer to _you_ than everyone else
  * Slowly, the people around you become relieved. They start to understand that you _are_ like any married couple, but that Lucifer was simply having a hard time adjusting to the abrupt closeness
  * And then, on the day when you and his brothers throw him a surprise birthday party, Lucifer is so overwhelmed by _love_ that he kisses you then and there, right in front of everyone, pride be damned
  * And the process is slow going, but eventually he becomes as open with you in public as he is in private, until the two of you are so close that it seems nothing can ever keep him from holding your hand the way he wants again



###  **Mammon**

  * s m u g
  * It still blows his mind that you chose _him_ out of everyone, that you chose _him_ to marry and love and spend the rest of your life with
  * And while he is absolutely dumbfounded by this fact, it won’t stop him from rubbing it everyone else’s face at every chance
  * _“Hey guys, wanna go to this all-inclusive resort next month?” Mammon grins, an uncharacteristically innocent smile on his face. “I’ll pay and all!”_
  * _“Oh, yes!” Asmo squeals while Beel’s ears perk up at the word all-inclusive. “I have so many cute outfits that I can’t wait to wear!”_
  * _“Oh wait, my bad!” Mammon exclaims dramatically, a silly grin on his face. “Looks like it’s only for married couples. Guess I’ll just take MC then, sorry guys!”_
  * PDA turns up by 10000000%
  * Man is a touchy demon by _default_ , so in private (now that you’re married) he finally has the courage to quietly cuddle you the way he’s always wanted to
  * But bring him into public?
  * _Oh boy_
  * You cannot get him to stop touching you. Ever.
  * There is always a hand on your butt, or two arms around draped around your neck, or a single arm linked with your arm, but _no matter what_ , Mammon makes sure that you guys are touching and that you are _intimate_
  * The only time you’re in public and he might _not_ actively touch you is if _you’re_ the one touching _him_ \- and holy hell, when you do, this demon melts in your hands
  * LOVES it when you get possessive. Man _wants_ you to be greedy with him, just like he is with you, so if you yank his attention away from other demons in a fit of jealousy, he’ll just find it _hot_
  * Tangibly, the nature of your relationship hasn’t changed _much_ after marriage. You both still live in the House of Lamentation (though you have moved into his room) he’s still in debt (but things are better than before, and Lucifer doesn’t shout as much), and he still has an only _slightly_ unhealthy obsession with Goldie (fixed only by the fact that you have told him that no, he should _not_ sleep clutching his credit card like a teddy bear)
  * But inside, marriage means _everything_ to this demon
  * Man was assertive before, but never confident, ya know? All those big, fancy words were more of a coverup for his insecurity after being made fun of for so long
  * But now?
  * His confidence is _real_
  * And because of it, being around him is actually easier. He doesn’t need to call himself The Great Mammon or remind you to come to _him_ when you need protecting - because at last, he believes those words
  * Why?
  * Because when he falls asleep every night with his head buried in the crook of your neck, it’s to _your_ words of praise, slowly but steadily building his confidence up
  * And he _loves_ it
  * (Bonus:) When he proposed, he proposed with ten rings because “you’re better than everyone else so you deserve more rings than everyone else”



###  **Leviathan**

  * Sigh
  * This man really tried to talk you _out_ of marrying him
  * Of course, by that time the wedding date was already final and everything ,so you shut him up with a firm whack on the back of the head, but that never stops Levi from being continually insecure
  * It’s not that _he_ doesn’t want to be married to you
  * It’s that he’s worried _you’re_ missing out on something by being married to him
  * :(
  * Poor baby is so precious
  * And _so_ insecure
  * At the beginning of your marriage, it takes _hours_ to convince him that he’s not “unworthy” of your love 
  * Often in the morning, you’ll be able to tell that he’s having self-deprecating thoughts just by the look in his eye, so you’ll cuddle and kiss and love him for _hours_ until it’s almost lunchtime - and only _then_ , after hours of you reassuring him and reminding him why you love him, does he begin to believe that he isn’t a “yucky otaku”
  * For the remainder of the day, Levi makes sure to repay you in full - literally _showering_ you in love as he makes you his Player 2 for every video game, going as far as to allow you to sit in his lap while he reads manga over your shoulder
  * And while things often reset at night - and the next morning the demon looks equally fearful about your decision to marry him, there’s no denying that the amount of time it takes to convince him that _you love and want him_ is growing shorter and shorter
  * And then, one day, when Levi wakes up, he doesn’t have that look in his eyes at all
  * And he just straight up kisses you
  * This is the story of why Levi kisses you every morning, first thing in the morning (even if it’s just a forehead kiss)
  * Man is eternally grateful to you for bearing with him (despite you insisting that you weren’t “bearing’ with him - you were doing it out of love) while he was so hesitant and fearful, and vows to return every ounce of love tenfold
  * Man will do anything for you
  * Of course, he still prefers to stay indoors and to marathon TSL with you
  * But he _does_ stop glancing away every time you praise him, and all the instances where he might have previously insulted himself now turn into simple blushes where he wraps you in a hug to hide his warm cheeks
  * Man is surprisingly touchy, even when he’s not fighting with other for your attention
  * 100% sleeps best if you’re spooning him - no questions asked
  * (And please don’t ask questions - he’ll get _so_ embarrassed)
  * And yes, after _much_ begging him, he does finally purchase a bed for the two of you to sleep in instead of his bathtub (which is surprisingly comfy, given that you can just lay on top of Levi and cuddle him)
  * But yes, sometimes he _will_ randomly lift you up in the middle of the night and carry you to the bathtub, because while there’s no chance this man is letting go of you as you sleep, he will _always_ prefer the bathtub 
  * Sigh
  * But you love him anyway <3



###  **Satan**

  * No one would have thought that the Avatar of Wrath would be able to lead such a _peaceful_ life, but the second you guys get married, that’s what things are
  * _Peaceful_
  * Man treats you like royalty, making sure that things are always perfect for you
  * Mornings are no longer spent at the dining table, but are instead spent on the small table in Satan’s bedroom, where the two of you roll out of bed every morning and lazily curl up together on the same armchair while drinking tea and coffee, chatting about whatever dreams you had
  * Afternoons are quiet: Satan’s nose in a book and your fingers occupied with whatever _your_ favorite pastime is, but you guys are always right next to each other, always _touching_ in some way 
  * Evenings are calm - Satan will sometimes play a disc of your favorite human world band or will put on some music of his own preferred Devildom artists, and the two of you will simply talk until it’s nighttime and you both are sleepy
  * In essence, man _mellows out_ after you marry him
  * And the reason?
  * He always feels so calm. It’s like you’ve quelled the eternal storm within his heart by marrying him, by promising that you’ll spend the rest of your lives together - and Satan hardly thinks he has any need for emotions like rage and anger when he always feels so blissfully _happy_ with you
  * It becomes his favorite thing in the whole world to just pull you onto his lap and play with the ring around your finger, listening to the sound of your voice
  * He’s just so _soft_ for you
  * Highkey wants to spend the rest of his life locked away inside his room with you, away from other people and other things that make him _angry_ , but he will venture out into public with you because he knows that there’s value in exposing oneself to various social environments
  * In fact, now if he leaves the house at all, it’s usually with you by his side
  * His favorite place to visit is 100% the cat shelter, with the local, cozy bookstore taking its place as a close second
  * But this man will not hesitate to throw hands with anyone who disrespects you
  * It’s actually one of the reasons why he finds it so _tedious_ to go outside - because no matter what, there’s always _some_ foolish demon that treats you poorly, and then Satan’s disposition dictates that he _can’t_ let that demon go home until the fool learns his place and apologizes
  * Of course, after the whole ordeal you guys 100% go somewhere to cheer each other up, and that’s the story of how you become the local ice cream store’s most valued customers
  * But Satan will always prefer being safe in his room with you, surrounded by his books and your things and everything that screams _home_
  * And are you guys secretly hiding a cat in your room?
  * Who knows? 
  * All you can say is that when the stack of “books” eternally buried under Satan’s desk sneezes, it’s not because Satan “enchanted them” to do so 
  * ;)



###  **Asmodeus**

  * d e d i c a t e d 
  * h u s b a n d o 
  * _Anyone_ can see the switch in Asmo when he settles down and marries you
  * Like
  * Man changed when you guys _started_ dating for sure. His posts on Devilgram began featuring you, he spent money he _would have s_ pent on hair products on buying you gifts, he stopped talking about himself and began focusing on complimenting you
  * But now that you’re married? And shit is _official??_ And you’ve actually _legally_ sworn that you want to spend the rest of your life with _him???_
  * It’s the first time Asmo cries tears of joy
  * Man pulls a full 180 - there’s no longer any such thing as Asmo, or even MC. No, the two of you are now a _package deal_ \- and everywhere you go, it’s Asmo _AND_ MC
  * And the whole Devildom knows about you two
  * And really, how could they not?
  * Ever since Asmo made that one post on Devilgram where the two of you are posing, flashing the camera your engagement rings - _every_ single post Asmo has made is of you
  * In fact, some of his posts don’t even have _him_ in it - they’re _just_ you
  * Because this boi is _so_ smitten for you
  * And he wants the whole world to know it
  * You guys start matching _everything_ (or everything that’s fashionable. matching t-shirts are NOT the wave, honey, so put those back)
  * Nail polish? Matching. Jewelry? Matching. Aesthetics? Matching.
  * Asmo has so much love in his heart that it literally comes _pouring_ out in every action he does
  * Man will miss his beauty sleep for you if you ask him for a glass of water in the middle of the night. And better yet, he won’t even _complain_ if you keep him up late, as long as it means he gets to hold you close and shower you in kisses
  * And if you thought Asmo _before_ marriage was touchy, then you have a big surprise in for you
  * Asmo’s touches are no longer sexual. (Or some of them are, but only when you’re ready for it ;)) He’s now more preoccupied with the _closeness_ that accompanies touching you, and so his skin is always brushing by yours even in the briefest of touches, because it always sends such a lovely rush of warmth to his heart whenever you touch
  * Everything reminds him of you
  * Man will send you pictures of trees, birds, flowers (honestly anything beautiful) with the caption _saw this today and it reminded me of you xoxo_
  * And though he maintains the ruse of this being completely casual, that this marriage is just another wonderful thing that’s happened to him, you _know_ that he never stops fangirling over the fact that you’ve actually chosen _him_ to love and marry
  * And yes, he was an angel born to be loved: he was the jewel of the heavens and everyone who looked upon him was instantly charmed
  * But to him, none of that matters
  * The only love he cares about is _yours_ , and now that you’ve given it to him, you’ve literally brought heaven to him because there’s nothing in the world he would trade for _this_



###  **Beelzebub**

  * Imagine being married to Superman
  * That.
  * That is what this marriage is like.
  * To the rest of the world, you are literally _untouchable_ \- because the moment you marry him, Beel will not allow _anyone_ to mistreat you
  * Did you think he was baby? That he was precious?
  * Well, you were right. But now that the two of you are married, he looks at you with that _same_ lens of protectiveness, and he wants to shield you from all the evil in the Devildom
  * Man is devoted in public and in private: nothing will stop him from showcasing his love for you
  * Expect to be offered food at all hours of the day, to be lifted up and hugged at random, and to be given forehead kisses on the _daily_
  * And listen, when Beel kisses you on the forehead in public, it’s not _just_ a show of affection to show the world how much he loves you. It’s a silent _threat_ to anyone who might hurt you - a silent warning that Beel has extended his protective domain over to you, and now anyone who messes with you is messing with him and will _not_ be shown mercy
  * That’s only in public tho - in private, this man goes back to being the most precious thing in the world
  * So 
  * Many
  * KISSES
  * Contrary to public expectation, Beel is just like his younger brother in that he _adores_ lazing around with you in bed, laying kisses across your skin for hours on end while you just sigh in bliss
  * He just adores the intimacy of the whole situation alongside the sensation of your smaller frame being literally _enveloped_ by his own
  * His favorite thing in the whole world is laying on his side with his head resting on top of yours, your back pressed against his chest while he hugs you from behind and listens to you rant about whatever. And while this is going on, he will _absolutely_ slide his ring off his finger and absentmindedly slide it onto yours, watching as the larger band dangles so loosely off even the thickest of your fingers
  * It actually opens up a whole new ~~kink~~ realization to him: that he _adores_ seeing you in his things and watching the way your smaller frame is nearly swallowed up by all his clothes
  * And while it has always been normal for you to casually wear his shirts and walk around his room in them without anything else on, the fact that the two of you are married gives him the confidence to sneak you _out_ of his room looking like that, where you occasionally run into his brothers. And the sight of _you_ dressed in _his_ clothes in front of _other_ people awakens a side of him that he never knew existed
  * 100% tries to get you to leave the house looking like that
  * “Babe, I can’t wear this outside”
  * “Why not?”
  * “Because I’m not wearing any underwear beneath this and if the wind blows, then—”
  * “You’re not wearing any underwear?”
  * And then Beel realized that he really _had_ discovered a new kink



###  **Belphegor**

  * The marriage no one foresaw
  * Nah, but fr tho
  * It’s not that Belphie doesn’t love you - even a blind man can tell that he’s hopelessly fallen for you
  * It’s just that you guys were acting like a married couple so long _before_ you guys got married that no one thought there was any point in actually sealing the deal
  * And honestly, things really don’t change much after you both get married
  * You still sleep in the same bed, you still cuddle each other at night, you still bicker back and forth 
  * From a distance, it seems like the nature of your relationship is entirely unchanged, save for the fact that you both have matching bands around your ring fingers
  * B U T
  * That’s only because no one else can see how Belphie treats you in private
  * Where there would once be peaceful naps where he dozed off on your thighs to the feeling you playing with his hair, he now spends that time lost in slow conversations with you, their topics varying based on whatever has popped through his mind that day
  * Man realizes that, now that you’re his spouse, he wants to know _everything_ about you
  * And he’s willing to spend all the time in the world learning these things
  * He’ll lie you down on the bed and play with your hair, asking you the most random questions
  * _“Do you dislike mushrooms?”_
  * _“If you had a pet frog, what would you name it?”_
  * _“What do you think of stickers?”_
  * Of course, that may be because your answers are utterly ridiculous
  * _“Only if they stand over four inches”_
  * _“Fluffy”_
  * _“They’re only good if they smell good”_
  * And for the longest time, you really only humor his questions with responses because, well, he’s your husband and you think that he just wants to get to know you better (albeit in a rather unorthodox method)
  * But then, one day, the two of you are casually walking through the Devildom market in preparation for it being Belphie’s turn to make dinner, and the demon selects the ingredients to your favorite dish without even consciously knowing what it is
  * And you realize that every question you answered was one Belphie took to heart, and that the _reason_ he always wants to learn so much about you is so that he can use the information to be the best husband he can be
  * And when you figure it out, you nearly tackle Belphie to the ground in a hug, because you’re so _touched_
  * “You’re the best husband ever!” You murmur, wrapping your legs around his waist as you bury your face in the crook of his neck, clinging to him like a koala as you trap him in an embrace he can’t wriggle out of
  * “Did you really _just_ realize why I always ask these things?” Belphie questions, sighing as if he’s disappointed
  * But even _he_ can’t hide the small grin that creeps onto his face as you hug him tighter, and you _know_ he’s just savoring the affection. And who are you to deny him any?



###  **Solomon**

  * cHAoTiC
  * Arguably the most stressful marriage, but not for either of you: for the people _around_ you
  * You guys are _that_ couple
  * Things were hectic enough before, when you guys would pull pranks on the demons every time you were together. But now that you’re in love? And married??? And ALWAYS together?!?!?
  * RIP to everyone around you
  * The two of you never really seem to grow old - your energy is seemingly inexhaustible and you’ve already pranked all 72 demons that Solomon has pacts with four times over (and yes, that _does_ include Barbatos, who has now made multiple threats to break the pact)
  * But, again, this is one of those instances where there’s a _sharp_ difference between how you guys act in public vs. in private
  * In public, things are a hot mess. You guys are always laughing, always joking, always smiling
  * But in the privacy of Solomon’s bedroom, without any potential targets for pranks and any demons that you guys need to keep your guard up around, things change _substantially_
  * Contrary to public expectation, you guys are almost completely silent when you’re alone - but it’s not an awkward silence, by any means. No, the silence that you and Solomon find is nothing short of _comforting_ , and every time you guys escape to the confines of his room, you both let out a breath neither of you realized you’d been holding
  * Because although you guys are strong, and arguably the most powerful team of humans in the Devildom, the fact remains that you guys are _human._
  * And you can only let your guards fully down around each other
  * Nights are spent in the absence of any loud laughter or obnoxious rackets, the two of you preferring to savor the sound and comfort of silence. You guys fit together like pieces to a puzzle, and no words are necessary for the two of you to change into your nightwear and snuggle up under the same blanket, soft sighs escaping your lips the moment your skin comes into contact with one another
  * It’s only times like now, when there’s no one else in the world around, that you both can find true _peace_
  * And on nights like these, Solomon will just hold you close to him, sometimes pressing his forehead against yours, and he’ll stroke your sides softly, thumbs rubbing soothing circles into your skin
  * And of course, you’ll reciprocate in full, pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses to the man’s jaw as he continues his ministrations, sometimes letting out a quiet hum of contentment as you pull him closer
  * It’s a relationship where speech isn’t necessary; you guys are so in sync with each other and so helplessly in love that words only complicate things
  * But still, on occasion, one of you will open your mouths to disrupt the silence, and on nights like these, there’s really only one thing either of you will even consider saying
  * “I love you”
  * And if there’s one certainty in life, it’s the fact that the other will repeat the same phrase back, punctuating it with a kiss that reminds you both _why_ you love each other so much
  * And just how _worth it_ this marriage really is



###  **Simeon**

  * The marriage that everyone foresaw
  * Nah, but fr tho
  * This is the relationship where _everyone_ knew about it _except_ for you two
  * Even the day Simeon proposed: it was so _spontaneous_ _-_ he was planning on doing it the following week - but every single person who crossed paths with him could see how helplessly in love he was with you, so it shocked no one when the two of you announced the “surprise” that you were getting married
  * And this is arguably one of the best decisions you have ever made
  * In every way
  * Simeon’s an angel, so marriage is probably the _most_ important to him out of everyone. He was treating you like royalty _long_ before you two got together, but now that the two of you are married? This man CANNOT hold back. And believe him, when he says he will get you whatever you want - he will get you _whatever_ you want
  * Funny part is, most of the time, this man knows what you want before _you_ do
  * You’ll be diligently taking notes at the RAD library and you won’t realize that your pencil is blunt until the words are barely legible - but when you get up to find a sharpener, you’ll see that Simeon tossed one onto your desk right before he left to grab a book
  * You’ll wake up at three in the morning and realize you’re thirsty - but the moment you open your eyes and sit up on the bed, Simeon will already be there with that charming smile and a glass of water in his hand
  * You’ll be returning from a session of painting your nails with Asmo, only to realize that there’s no way you can grab your keys from your pocket without smudging the semi-dry nail polish - and Simeon will miraculously come home _at that second_ , kissing you on the forehead before opening the front door for you
  * Like seriously, it’s a gift
  * Of course, then there comes the day where you try to return the favor, trying to study the way his eyebrows furrow as he reads his book to determine when he’s about to stop and turn on the TV instead (only for you to triumphantly hand him the remote)
  * And then the affection _never_ ends and the rest of your marriage is characterized by nonstop trying to outdo each other in thoughtfulness that everyone just looks at and sighs because it’s _so wholesome_
  * And will Luke become your and Simeon’s honorary child?
  * Absolutely.
  * And does Luke hate this in every single way?
  * Oh yes:
  * “This is ridiculous! I am two thousand years older than MC! You can’t expect me to have to _listen_ to them every time they tell me to do something! _They_ should be listening to _me!”_
  * “Watch your language, young man,” Simeon warns. “I won’t have you talk that way in this house.”
  * “It’s not even a house!” Luke screams in defiance. “And I refuse! I will say what I want, when I want, and how I want!”
  * “That’s enough, Luke. Go to your room and think about what you’ve said until you’re ready to apologize!”
  * And _God_ help Luke the day he accidentally calls Simeon “Dad,” because nothing can break the family after that moment



###  **Barbatos**

  * “Teach me.”
  * Listen, marriage isn’t a concept that demons are familiar with
  * They love you, so they’ll do it for your sake - but if a demon weds a human, the demon is 100% playing it by ear and desperately hoping that they’re doing things right
  * But Barbatos?
  * Nah, this man gives everything his all, and you’re more important than everything combined. So suffice it to say that when he marries you, he is _committed_ to being the best husbando he can possibly be
  * And how does he go about achieving such a thing, you ask?
  * Why, two simple words: “Teach me.”
  * He asks that you be completely upfront and honest with him about what you desire, and he does everything he can to fulfill them
  * Things start slow, of course
  * You mention to him that married couples often sleep in the same bed and share a bedroom - and then he’s requested that Diavolo provide him a new room (one which doesn’t have doors that lead to other timelines) where the two of you live together
  * Then you talk about how married couples usually have matching wedding rings, and the next morning you find two _obscenely_ expensive (but _beautifully_ artistic) rings, and a wide-eyed butler asking if they’re to your liking
  * You explain that married couples sometimes get closer to each other by having a family pet and (bless his heart) Barbatos takes you to an aquarium the next day and the two of you bring home a pet fish
  * And things are slow going with Barbatos, but progress is _steady_
  * And soon, he starts to get the hang of it
  * You guys don’t just sleep in the same bed, he starts to pull you closer. Casual touches turn into cuddling, and then all of a sudden he can only sleep if he’s spooning you in the process
  * He decides that he likes it when you wear things he buys you, so he gifts you even more woefully expensive but equally stunning jewelry, until you’re always leaving your shared room with one of Barbatos’s presents adorned on your figure
  * And although Barbatos is too responsible to get rid of the (immortal) pet fish he bought, the two of you have a talk and then you head down to the pet store and buy an _actual_ pet, one which you guys can touch and hug and cuddle
  * And before long, Barbatos doesn’t need you to teach him how to be a good husband, he realizes that most of it is instinctive; he understands that to make _you_ happy, he really just needs to do the things that make _him_ happy
  * Of course, he still approaches many things textbook style
  * Every morning and every night, man will whisper that he loves you - no excuses. You guys could have a fight and he will still do this
  * But gradually as time moves on, he sees that marriage doesn’t have to be a big, fancy show
  * And he starts to just savor the sensation of being helplessly in love with you



###  **Diavolo**

  * POWER COUPLE
  * No, but literally - you guys are the most powerful couple in the world
  * And Diavolo is _living_ for it
  * You are _royalty_ now, and Diavolo won’t let you forget that for a single second
  * You want a snack? That’s fine, here’s a nine-course buffet featuring food from the human world, Celestial Realm, and Devildom
  * Been feeling tired and want a break? No worries, the next week has been declared a newfound Devildom holiday, so rest up for as long as you want
  * You don’t like this specific brand of nail polish? Oh okay, there are now four hundred samples in your room to help you find one you _do_ like
  * It honestly gets to the point where you have to sit Diavolo down (*cough* sit on Diavolo’s lap *cough*) and tell him that _no_ , when you tell him you’re considering cutting your hair, he _doesn’t_ have to hire four professional hairstylists and a consultant to help you select the style
  * After much discussion he agrees to _talk_ these things out with you
  * And it’s the sweetest thing in the world
  * “Babe, can you help me get this jar? I can’t reach it.”
  * “Does this mean you just want me to get you the jar? Or do you want me to make it a law that all Devildom households cannot have shelves higher than the reach of the standard human height?”
  * “Just the jar, hon.”
  * “Oh”
  * Will never deny you anything, ever
  * Actually begins putting your interests in front of his own, asking Barbatos to cook _your_ favorite meals and desserts instead of Diavolo’s own preferences because hey, food is just food, and it makes him _so_ happy to see your face light up when you find that dinner is your favorite dish
  * And listen there’s one thing you need to know about: this man’s _bed_
  * Holy shit, _nothing_ compares
  * It is the most comfortable thing in the world, and you’re pretty sure that even _God_ is missing out if he hasn’t taken a nap on Diavolo’s bed because goddamn that shit is amazing
  * Like you love Diavolo _to death_ but his bed is absolutely revolutionary with how comfortable it is, and you really feel like you could spend an eternity just starfished out under the covers
  * And of course, since you love the bed and Diavolo loves you, the two of you can spend _hours_ just lazing around in the morning, cuddling and giggling until it’s almost lunchtime
  * And mornings with Diavolo are the _best_
  * Again, though, you’re royalty, now that you’re married to him. So Diavolo isn’t going to let you be woken up like a _commoner_. With him, there are no alarms, no loud voices, none of that obnoxious _shaking you awake_ or any such nonsense
  * No, when Diavolo wakes you up every morning, it’s truly in a way fit for _royalty_ , in a way that only _he_ can do - a way that you honestly _prefer_ to all the others ways you’ve been woken 
  * And does this include Diavolo smirking up with you every morning from between your thighs?
  * Absolutely.
  * But does that stop him from doing it every day? 
  * Never.




	4. MC is close with Solomon!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _What’s better than coming to the Devildom? You guessed it: coming to the Devildom with your best friend. And let’s just say that the result? Chaotic. Because each and every one of these boys has their own thing to say about your friendship—and most of them aren’t good. ___
> 
> __Word Count: 5.6k_ _
> 
> __SFW + Mild Language_ _
> 
> __Characters: All Brothers + All Undateables + Luke_ _

###  **Lucifer**

  * _Hates_ it
  * Man can pretty much tell that _you’re_ not going to be too much trouble, given that you seem to have no control over magic and you’ve never even heard of the Devildom before this point. 
  * But Solomon?
  * Lucifer can spot a troublemaker a mile away, and that shit-eating grin on your best friend’s face is a _dead_ giveaway
  * Man does not want you associating with Solomon at all
  * Initially, he tries to forbid it entirely, trying to impose a strict curfew and a tight schedule which would give you basically no time to see your the mage at all
  * But either you and Solomon find a way around it or the two of you simply _don’t care_ because every time Lucifer enters your room, he can _smell_ that sorcerer’s scent lingering in the air—always so fresh and strong, as if he were here one second ago, but _just_ vanished
  * It lowkey turns into a game
  * Lucifer will barge into your room at the most random hours, hoping to catch you with the “outsider” 
  * But Solomon is always one step ahead of him
  * It highkey hurts Lucifer’s pride - the fact that he can’t stop two puny humans from meeting up - but he eventually grows to grit his teeth and bear it
  * Even withdraws his initial rule against the two of you meeting up
  * Just asks that, when you do, it happens _outside_ the House of Lamentation and that you be back home by a reasonable time
  * 100% the kind of guy to show up at Purgatory Hall and walk you home every time you and Solomon hang out to make sure you’re back home on time (at least, that’s what Luci _says._ everyone knows that he just has a soft spot for spending time with his favorite human.) 
  * Probably will never grow to like Solomon, no matter how many times you beg him to give the boy a chance
  * But he _definitely_ gets jealous every now and then
  * And honestly, how can he not? You have seven demon lords, a literal _prince_ , a butler who can manipulate time, and two angels—and you choose to spend time with a _human?_
  * It hurts his pride
  * And while he’ll slowly stop caring when you’re heading out to see Solomon, gradually growing used to the fact that the two of you will hang out no matter what, _never_ try to leave Lucifer’s company so you can hang out with Solomon
  * Like, you can try it
  * And after staring at you in absolute _shock,_ he’ll let you go
  * But the Avatar of Pride will be offended for the next five centuries if you insult him like that, and this man can _hold a grudge_



###  **Mammon**

  * Second brother in the “Hates it” club
  * But Mammon’s issue isn’t with Solomon himself. In fact, the second-born might go as far as to say he _likes_ Solomon, given how the mage riles Lucifer up
  * But that won’t stop Mammon from _loathing_ the fact that the two of you are friends
  * Because you keep leaving _Mammon_ to go spend time with _Solomon_
  * <insert angry chibi mammon here>
  * Man is greedy for your attention - and it’s bad enough that he has to share you with his six brothers at home. But to have to share you when the two of you are outside? Hanging out?
  * Boi literally _scowls_ every time he sees Solomon
  * Shady boi pretends not to notice
  * Ofc, you want your friends to get along, so like a reasonable person, you invite Mammon along every time you leave to go hang out with Solomon
  * And initially, Mammon was _happy_. Yes, he would still have to share you a little, but if he could hang out with you _while_ you were with Solomon, you would _clearly_ see that Mammon was the better option, right? 
  * Well, things didn’t work out so well
  * Only when he sees you and Solomon _together_ does Mammon realize why all the history textbooks label humans as pack animals. Man is _shook_ with how in sync the two of you are, how many inside jokes you share, how physically _comfortable_ you are around each other. You guys are practically joined at the hip, and your whole conversation feels like nonstop laughter
  * And while he _normally_ would take to his room and fume in jealousy over this until you ditch Solomon to spend time with Mammon, this time he finds himself genuinely interested in the relationship
  * He realizes that he wants to have with _you_ what you have with _Solomon_
  * It’s lowkey an issue for him, because the greater portion of Mammon’s complex revolves around the fact that you and Solomon are nothing but weak humans, but he manages to get over himself when he realizes that he’s _already_ wasted two whole weeks when he could have been getting to know you better
  * And so the shenanigans start
  * Boi begins _bombarding_ you with questions, often asking them faster than you can answer
  * He wants to know everything about you, see. He believes that this is the best way to make up for lost time - so he pulls you close and continues firing questions at you like a rapper that just won’t stop
  * He starts spending the night over in your room _way_ more often
  * Man used to be too much of a tsundere to ask for cuddles, but he’s pushed that aside for the sake of being your “best friend” so he just yeets his body at you whenever you’re alone now
  * Gets _super_ smug if he sees you text Solomon, saying that you can’t hang out because you’re with Mammon
  * Expect extra cuddles whenever that happens ;)



###  **Leviathan**

  * Okay listen
  * This man? Right here? Yeah - he’s the Avatar of _Envy._ Jealousy is practically Levi’s middle name - and while he’s not going to _hate_ Solomon for being your childhood friend, that’s not to say Levi isn’t inherently envious of the fact that there’s someone else in the Devildom who’s closer to you than he is
  * So _obviously_ there’s only one course of action for Levi to take
  * He has to satiate his envy
  * How? 
  * By becoming your best friend. Getting closer to you than Solomon is or ever will be - close enough that he’s your Henry and you’re his.
  * Except that such a feat is easier said than done
  * Boi awkwardly invites you up to his room to watch anime and play video games on countless occasions - but you _keep_ bringing Solomon!
  * Man can’t even ask you _not_ to, because Levi has three controllers for every game and the sorcerer is actually _good_ at everything (not as good as Levi, of course, but still better than the average normie)
  * So he scowls and sulks in silence while the three of you continue to binge TSL, acting if he’s not bothered by the fact that you’re resting your head on _Solomon’s_ shoulder instead of Levi’s while you watch
  * So in light of this - one thing becomes clear. Levi needs to change up his plan
  * He starts coming to your room, barging in (and kicking Mammon out) so that he _knows_ the sorcerer won’t be there - and begins getting to know you _there_
  * And surprisingly, this works
  * The two of you start a tradition: every night, before you go to sleep, Levi will stop by your room and the two of you will play a game of cards (with a TSL-themed deck, of course) while chatting casually. Sometimes, Levi will spend the night, and sometimes, he won’t. But that doesn’t matter - because Levi’s _ultimate_ goal isn’t about being in your room. Or playing cards with you. Or anything materialistic like that.
  * No, as aforementioned - his goal is to be your #1 bestie
  * Man ups his game over time
  * Starts lending you his manga, starts letting you inside his room without having to answer a question or call out a password, even goes as far as to let you open and _touch_ some of his action figures
  * And yes, the two of you will eventually have to have an honest, heart-to-heart talk about friendship
  * And how it’s possible for a person to have _multiple_ best friends (a concept which Levi accepts with great reluctance)
  * But for now - you can just savor the attention he basks you with, closing your eyes and enjoying it for a little longer while he rants animatedly about the season finale of whatever anime he just watched
  * And maybe - just _maybe_ \- when Levi’s done with his vicious process of becoming your best friend, _Solomon_ will be the envious one
  * Who knows? All you can say is that Levi certainly isn’t pouting anymore ;)



###  **Satan**

  * Evil laughter
  * And _lots_ of it
  * You see, Satan sees potential in Solomon. The shady sorcerer has unnerved Lucifer from the day he entered the Devildom, and Satan _loves_ the little furrow in Lucifer’s eyebrows every time he sees the two of you spending time together
  * So what does Satan do?
  * Insert himself straight into your friendship
  * And Lucifer’s headache has been multiplied by three
  * You, Satan, and Solomon become a group: one can never be found without the other two close by
  * And while Lucifer _loathes_ it, Satan loves it
  * He may have befriended the two of you out of a desire to irk Lucifer, but he stays because Solomon is surprisingly knowledgeable - and he always finds your company to be enjoyable
  * Most evenings are spent in Satan’s study, a pot of tea between you all while Solomon and Satan discuss an ancient text, and you rest your head on one of their shoulders, drumming your fingers on their thigh
  * Satan is the only brother who doesn’t just tolerate Solomon’s presence - he _welcomes_ it
  * And, interestingly enough, Satan also happens to be the only brother that Solomon doesn’t consider an immediate threat to your well-being - so you don’t even need to worry about your childhood friend’s protective instincts flaring up
  * All in all, things work out well
  * And the best part?
  * The _pranks_
  * The three of you pull the most _ridiculous_ jokes, often doing things that would be physically impossible to most humans through Satan’s aid. Between enchanting Lucifer’s office door to _quack_ every forty-five minutes and casting a spell on the coffee pot to make its interior contents spill out of an invisible crack, you go _wild_ with trying to disturb the firstborn in the most creative ways possible
  * You have such a beautiful system: Solomon executes all the ideas, you keep the other demon brothers away while he works, and Satan is responsible for the cleanup, making sure that there’s nothing to trace anything back to any of you (though Lucifer knows in his heart who’s responsible)
  * It gets to the point where Lucifer outright forbids the three of you from meeting up, but that hardly works, because Solomon doesn’t live in the House of Lamentation, and all you and Satan need to do is head outside to be free of his rules 
  * It’s a beautiful mess of chaos, your friendship
  * Inexplicably wholesome, and so undeniably perfect at the same time, no matter _how_ much anyone else may complain



###  **Asmodeus**

  * He LOVES it
  * And Solomon HATES it
  * The moment you come to the House of Lamentation, Asmo is all over you - not just because he wants to learn more about the strange human who is apparently his master’s best friend but because he _loves_ how it makes Solomon fume every time the mage sees the two of you standing next to each other
  * 100% makes use of the fact that you live in the House of Lamentation to get close to you, blatantly disobeying Solomon’s request to keep away
  * Tries to become your best friend from Day 1
  * _Begs_ you to let him paint your nails, regularly offers to let you use his bath, becomes your private supplier of all self-care products
  * Man is _devoted_ to becoming your friend
  * It’s _incredibly_ amusing to watch Solomon scowl in the background - because while your childhood friend trusts Asmo enough to make a pact, it appears that he doesn’t trust the Avatar of Lust not to make a move on you. And that’s Solomon’s _biggest_ nightmare
  * So, like any rational people, you and Asmo make use of that weakness and exploit it to the fullest
  * It’s quite funny to watch, honestly
  * You guys take selfies in Asmo’s bathroom, sending them to Solomon with the caption “bath time is always better with a friend ;)”
  * You’ll then proceed to shower separately, but the second Solomon barges into Asmo’s room, he sees the fact that you both have wet hair and boi _faints_
  * :)
  * You and Asmo take pride in turning Solomon’s white hair grey with stress 
  * Ofc, it’ll eventually come out that you and Asmo were just messing with him the whole time - and Solomon will be _mad_ as hell, but he’ll be so _relieved_ at the same time
  * But uh
  * That doesn’t stop Solomon from being _hella_ protective
  * 90% of your hangout sessions with Asmo feature Solomon in the background, either watching suspiciously with binoculars or ominously from the window 
  * You and Asmo pretend not to notice
  * Between Asmo’s insistency on being your friend and Solomon’s tunnel vision on keeping you as far as the Avatar of Lust as possible, you’re often being pulled both directions
  * But no matter what, Asmo is your housemate and Asmo is the one who has the advantage in this unending battle
  * And may Solomon’s soul rest in peace on the day when you and Asmo finally make a pact, because all wizard boi can do at that point is bang his head on the desk repeatedly 



###  **Beelzebub**

  * You have to understand that a demon’s instincts are almost always right. And while Beel’s _instincts_ aren’t necessarily telling him that Solomon is a bad person - the gentle giant can never forget the _monstrosity_ of a meal that the sorcerer once fed him, and that’s an experience that Beel has never been able to quite forget
  * So yeah - while Beel doesn’t actively hate on Solomon, suffice it to say that his body has associated a pretty negative experience with the mage
  * And, just like his instincts, a feeling this strong is _hard_ to get over
  * So suffice it to say that the sixth born isn’t incredibly _excited_ when he learns that Solomon is your childhood friend
  * In fact, outwardly, the man demonstrates little to no response
  * You hear a small “oh” escape his lips
  * And that’s it
  * But inwardly, boi is _freaking out_
  * What if Solomon’s awful skills get transferred to you? Isn’t that supposed to be a thing? Does horizontal gene transfer work like that?
  * Man quietly tries to steal you away from Solomon as much as possible - not out of jealousy or clinginess or any reason except the simple fact that he doesn’t want the sorcerer rubbing off on you, and he takes it upon himself to make sure you don’t accidentally expose yourself to too much
  * Highkey feels protective over you
  * It’s actually a pretty interesting dynamic to see Beel and Solomon interact - because neither man trusts the other around someone as precious as you
  * Yeah, this is one of those relationships where you’re going to have to try _really_ hard to get these boys to like each other
  * And, of course, as the informally designated therapist in the House of Lamentation, you accept this challenge
  * How?
  * The answer is simple. _Food._
  * It’s something that neither of them can resist - a home-cooked meal featuring all their favorite dishes, where you simply _happen_ to have to leave in the middle of dinner to finish some chores for Lucifer, leaving the two men at the table where you make them promise not to leave until you get back
  * It’s a pretty genius plan, if you do say so yourself
  * You watch from a corner as it all happens
  * And, as expected, progress goes slowly at first. Both men watch each other with wary eyes as they continue to eat in silence
  * But then - something amazing happens
  * “So...nice weather, huh?”
  * That’s right. _Conversation_.
  * You could cry for joy
  * You quietly listen as the two of them begin awkwardly talking, trying not to weep when their postures grow relaxed and their smiles grow natural - grinning like a fool when you return
  * And neither of them realizes it - but that’s just the first successful step of your mission to bring you friends closer together - something which they’ll doubtlessly thank you for many months in the future



###  **Belphegor**

  * #3 in the “hates it” gang
  * Listen: he doesn’t hate humans anymore, but Solomon is officially the exception
  * Like why does that shady bitch have to hang around you all the time? You have seven of hell’s strongest demon lords living with you, and you _still_ invite that pathetic _human_ over?
  * Glares at Solomon whenever he sees the guy
  * He fucking hates how the two of you are a package deal - because he wants _you_ , not the annoying add-on that steals your attention
  * ~~Lowkey highkey jealous~~
  * He’ll be sleeping comfortably on your stomach, dozing off and relishing the feeling of your hands running through his hair. But when he wakes up, _Solomon_ will be there for some strange reason, also asleep on your thighs, and you’ll be running your hand through _his_ hair instead
  * Man has never been more ~~jealous~~ angry
  * You know all that murderous intent that lurks in the back of his mind? Yeah, it’s _all_ directed at Solomon now - your childhood friend can barely get close without Belphie baring his teeth and _hissing_
  * As expected, you take efforts to make the two closer - given that you want your friends to get along
  * And while you almost expect Belphie to leave you hanging for the group movie night you planned for all three of you, the seventh-born finally shows up with a scowl on his face, mumbling something about how he couldn’t leave you alone with “that shady-ass sorcerer bitch”
  * And progress is slow
  * So _very_ slow
  * But after months of trying to get Belphie to like Solomon, they _finally_ bond after you and Solomon pull a prank to set a glitter bomb off in Lucifer’s office
  * Belphie is _floored_
  * Initially, he acts nonchalant about it - casually grinning at Satan and asking you who thought of the idea
  * Man nearly spits out his drink when he learns that _Solomon_ was responsible for the whole plan 
  * And then Belphie is struck with an abrupt dilemma
  * For months, he’s hated on the sorcerer, glaring at the guy whenever he drew close
  * But maybe? If he sees that Lucifer sucks? He might not be so bad after all???
  * Get’s _extremely_ awkward around wizard boi all of a sudden
  * Their relationship doesn’t really work without the nonstop insults from Belphie’s side and Solomon’s snarky quips back
  * But they fully bond the following week, when Solomon casually suggests another idea to mess with the resident firstborn
  * And Belphie (for the first time) grins at Solomon the second he hears the plan name - and it is the start of a beautiful, beautiful friendship
  * “Operation Dye Lucifer’s Wings Pink”



###  **Solomon**

  * This one’s a big oof
  * Solomon adores you. Cherishes your company. Would probably murder for you ~~(Would probably murder for free too, if we’re being honest)~~
  * So while he’s _delighted_ that he gets to come to the Devildom for a full year with his best friend, he’s also _highkey_ terrified for you because oh _god_ this is his worst nightmare
  * Like hello??? He is a powerful sorcerer who knows thousands of spells??? And _your_ biggest achievement??? Is that one time you stopped a duck from stealing your food??? 
  * Man is _terrified_ for your life
  * It honestly stresses him out - lowkey becomes like Mammon. Wants you by his side if you’re going out at all, gets _so_ worked up if you’re out alone
  * Does _not_ trust you with the demon brothers
  * ( _Especially_ Asmodeus. Man will keep the Avatar of Lust away from you with a ten-foot long pole if that’s what it takes)
  * Protective Solomon = ACTIVATED
  * He tries his best not to be overbearing, really. And if it’s just the two of you, things feel pretty normal. But the _second_ a demon walks into the room, Solomon has casually placed an arm around your neck, willing to either A: Murder this bitch or B: Protect you with his own body, if it comes to that
  * Man nearly tears his hair out every time you casually recount how Lucifer almost killed you last night
  * 100% goes to Diavolo asking to have you switched to Purgatory Hall. ~~Whines like a bitch when Diavolo says no~~
  * (Secretly has sleepovers in your room every now and then, and though the other brothers _suspect_ this, they have no proof so they can’t say anything)
  * If you sit him down and have a _reasonable_ conversation with him about his overprotectiveness, he’ll probably ease up, slowly accepting the fact that you can’t be by his side at all hours for a full year
  * But that doesn’t stop him from hating the fact that you’re making pacts with the demon brothers
  * Not that he can really complain, given that he has 72 of them
  * The whole experience is probably a huge boost to your friendship, since nothing brings people together like being constantly surrounded by demons that are waiting for you to let your guard down so they can eat your soul
  * Will _very_ reluctantly teach you how to use your magic - not because he likes the idea of you becoming a mage, but because he knows that it’s basically a requirement if you want to survive down here
  * And once magic is introduced to your friendship, _god_ save everyone else in the Devildom
  * Nothing is spared from the sheer _chaos_ that is the two of you with your wands out, waving wildly and shouting spells that you only _partially_ know the full effects of ;)



###  **Simeon**

  * Extremely concerned
  * For both you _and_ Solomon
  * To Simeon, after dorming with Solomon in the same house for so long, he’s grown accustomed to the sorcerer’s slightly strange ways. Similarly, after meeting you in class so many times, the two of you have bonded over studying, chatting in class, and group projects
  * So while Simeon _thoroughly_ enjoys spending time with both of you individually, shit gets _hectic_ when the two of you are together
  * You guys both bring sides out in each other that Simeon sometimes would rather not see
  * Combined, you guys are _chaotic._ A swirling whirlwind of disaster that disturbs anyone who dares to stands in your way. Utterly merciless with your pranks, entirely careless with your own well-being
  * Yeah, angel bby highkey thinks that you’re both _terrible_ influences on each other
  * But unlike others, he doesn’t try to split you apart
  * Rather, he decides to grow closer to _both_ of you, until he’s basically a constant in your friendship
  * And then he assumes the “dad” role
  * Sigh
  * The moment the three of you are close enough, Simeon decides that it’s time he do something angelic in the Devildom. And so he vows to save you from each other
  * Abruptly, you and Solomon find yourselves interrupted every time you’re planning on messing with someone, pulled apart and placed in front of a television while Simeon plays a movie to distract you both from your earlier train of thought
  * Yes, the angel is a _devious_ mastermind
  * He strikes only when he’s close enough to land his hit, and only when the two of you open your hearts up to him will he take action
  * Or like, the same thing in less melodramatic words
  * Man basically balances the two of you out, countering your naturally boisterous and mischievous personalities with his own angelic grace
  * And the entire Devildom basically thanks him for it
  * Of course, Simeon won’t stop you and Solomon _completely_ from having fun
  * Whenever one of you turns up with a seemingly harmless prank, Simeon will simply sigh, pat your heads, and tell you both to “get it out of your system” before walking away
  * And hey, it’s the little victories that count, right?
  * All in all - probably the most healthy relationship. Simeon is smart with his methods, and he redirects your and Solomon’s talents for mischief toward more practical pursuits without the two of you ever realizing it
  * And when you do, you’re both _beyond_ shook with how slick the seemingly out-of-touch angel was with his methods
  * But in the end, no one complains because, hey - you got an angel friend out of it. And this one doesn’t look like he’s about to leave _any_ time soon



###  **Luke**

  * Solomon usually seems worse than most demons, to Luke
  * Not because the mage is mean or anything - it just _terrifies_ Luke to the core that a single human can be capable of such culinary disgrace
  * Luke genuinely doesn’t understand _how_ Solomon is so bad at cooking (bad is being generous, in truth) 
  * But he _does_ know that seeing shady boi in the kitchen is probably more terrifying than the sight of an armed demon charging straight at him
  * But you?
  * You are Luke’s _savior_
  * See, no matter how bad you are at cooking, you’re _still_ better than Solomon
  * And that’s all Luke needs
  * Boi feels safest when you’re with Solomon, because that way he knows that his roommate in Purgatory Hall won’t be burning the kitchen down anytime soon
  * Will not hesitate to call you (while on the brink of tears) begging you to come over should Solomon ever begin fiddling with pots in the kitchen
  * And your phone will be _filled_ with texts should Solomon ever begin practicing magic in a public area 
  * You lowkey can’t tell if he invites you over to babysit Solomon or to babysit _him_ \- but it doesn’t matter, because you head on over anyway
  * *On the phone*
  * “MC?”
  * “Oh hey, Luke. What’s up?”
  * “We have a situation at Purgatory Hall.”
  * “A situation?”
  * “I walked in on Solomon standing shirtless in the bathroom while he was chanting something in Latin and mixing mustard oil with hemlock.”
  * “...”
  * “...”
  * “Give me five minutes.”
  * Slowly comes to rely on you over time, not just when Solomon is pulling suspicious shit but also when he actually needs help
  * If you and Solomon have a sleepover, you should 100% expect Luke to knock on your door in his pajamas, asking you to tell him a story
  * Will _never_ admit it, but he begins to look at you as a parental figure
  * (Actually makes you a card once after Simeon suggested it but Solomon kept teasing him, so he never gave it to you)
  * Overall very supportive of your friendship 
  * Almost _likes_ how it disturbs the demon brothers to see the two of you so close - consciously inviting you over more often whenever they’re mean to him because he knows it irks them
  * You become a favorited contact in his phone, and he stops calling you when he needs you and sometimes just when he wants to talk
  * Secretly wishes that you were in Purgatory Hall and Solomon were in the House of Lamentation



###  **Barbatos**

  * Actually knew who you were _long_ before Diavolo brought you to the Devildom
  * It was one of the first things Solomon requested of Barbatos when they formed their pact: that the demon of time make sure that no unnecessary harm came your way, and to protect you should Solomon be unable to
  * So it’s no surprise that butler boy ends up spending a lot of time with you in the Devildom, ensuring your safety whenever your childhood friend can’t be there
  * Man is just as protective over you as Solomon is, given that he’s watched over you from afar for so long
  * For real - if you want to get hurt in the Devildom, you’ll have to _try_
  * About to trip over something? No worries, Barbatos is there, either catching your fall or preventing it entirely. Are you in danger? Never. Because Barbatos pulls you away before you can so much as _walk_ into a bad situation. About to eat something poisonous? Not on this man’s watch you aren’t, and when you’re in the Devildom, you’re _always_ on his watch, 
  * Boi becomes surprisingly soft for you
  * Is probably the only person to send you “good morning” and “good night” texts. It’s not out of kindness or anything, man just needs to make sure you didn’t yeet yourself off the roof while he wasn’t watching
  * Absolutely will whisk you away to Diavolo’s palace for an afternoon of baking so long as it keeps you out of trouble
  * Even learns all your favorite recipes so that he can make them and bribe you with food to pull you out of whatever shenanigans the demon brothers are trying to involve you with
  * Again, _surprisingly_ protective
  * Everyone notices it
  * He shoots death glares at any lesser demons that so much as _look_ at you the wrong way - and you can bet it’s a mistake they’ll never repeat
  * Not above tailing you in secret if you let it slip that you’re about to go somewhere suspicious - he won’t _stop_ you from going out, but he _will_ make sure you’re safe while you’re gone, even if you don’t realize it
  * You guys may as well have a pact (and you probably will end up forming one) because this butler will do whatever you say, no questions asked, as long as he believes it’s for your benefit
  * Will even let you play with the turquoise strand of his hair if you ask nicely (only in private, of course) 
  * Quietly has a heart attack every time Lucifer casually mentions how “the human” did _another_ reckless thing yesterday
  * (It’s Barbatos’s greatest woe. He can save you from everyone but yourself and your ridiculous mind which seems to think that bungee jumping off the roof of the House of Lamentation is a good idea)
  * Lowkey feels like he’s caring for a baby Diavolo all over again
  * It’s okay, though. You’ve grown on him. Like a giant, annoying vine that simply won’t go away, but you _have_ grown on him



###  **Diavolo**

  * It was intentional
  * Man consciously had Lucifer select two humans who knew each other because he was aware how difficult life in the Devildom would be without any emotional support, so he already knew you guys were close
  * What he didn’t expect was for the two of you to be so _chaotic_
  * Lowkey regrets his decision
  * See, it’s not that you and Solomon disturb _him._ No, you both know that the demon prince is off-limits to your pranks and shenanigans
  * But everyone else? Fair game.
  * And it _all_ comes back to Diavolo
  * Man can’t do anything but give a choke of disbelief when Lucifer barges into his office _again_ , ranting about how you and Solomon went down to Majolish and set up a booth outside, offering your souls to any demons who could guess which cup, out of three, had a penny underneath it after the two of you shuffled it around
  * The game was rigged, of course, so that you and Solomon would always win no matter what the demons guessed - but it goes without saying that your moneymaking scheme is one of the most _reckless_ things Diavolo has ever heard of
  * Man has to try so hard not to facepalm 
  * Eventually he approaches both of you, quietly asking if it would be too much trouble to, y’know, _not_ actively stir up trouble in the Devildom
  * You both graciously apologize and insist that it’ll never happen again
  * But then the next day Lucifer walks into his office with his black wings dyed _pink_ and Diavolo knows that his words fell upon deaf ears
  * Cue major internal dillemma
  * Diavolo knows that humans are reckless and have no sense of self preservation - evidenced by your and Solomon’s nonstop scheming - but what he _doesn’t_ know is how to make it stop
  * So what does he do?
  * Begins hogging up all your time
  * Man realizes that if he’s having dinner with _you_ , then there’s no way you can stir up trouble with Solomon
  * And so you abruptly find yourself bombarded with texts from Diavolo, always inviting you over to “see the new palace drapes” or “take a walk through the garden” or “come over for some food, since Barbatos made too much”
  * Basically does everything he can to keep you with him and out of trouble
  * And at first, it’s _just_ that
  * He’s merely entertaining you in more productive ways than disturbing half his kingdom
  * But soon (and this happens far too quickly for Lucifer’s liking), he asks you why you and Solomon behave so recklessly
  * And so you, being generous, offer to _show_ Diavolo why pulling pranks and messing with demons are so much fun
  * Boi _loves_ it
  * Mission success: you’ve just recruited the prince of hell to your and Solomon’s plans to turn Lucifer’s hair grey by the end of the school year
  * And yes, that’s pretty much the last day of peace in the Devildom




	5. MC is more flexible than them!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Perfection is certain. Perfection is solid. Perfection is the body of a demon or an angel, where there is no room (or need) for bones to crack and muscles to stretch. You and Solomon, though? You’re human. Not so “perfect” when compared to the other inhabitants of at RAD—but that just makes it all the more interesting when they finally see the way the human body can crack and bend. ___
> 
> __Word Count: 5.5k_ _
> 
> __SFW + mild descriptions of cracking body parts_ _
> 
> __Characters: All brothers + All Undateables + Luke_ _

###  **Lucifer**

  * Instant panic mode
  * Man _just_ learned that it’s possible for humans to break bones, so when he hears you casually crack your knuckles, he instantly assumes that all your fingers are broken
  * Finds it even more terrifying when you lean your head back and crack your _neck_
  * Honestly, the look of sheer horror on his face would be terrifying if you didn’t find it so funny
  * Is actually super confused when he realizes that you’re 100% fine but will not lower himself to actually asking you about it. That is not the Lucifer way, and so this man instead decides to secretly binge Satan’s collection of human anatomy instead
  * But uh, he gets scarily into it
  * Seriously, you’re starting to get concerned when it’s been nearly two full weeks of Lucifer ignoring you to bury his nose in a book, eyebrows furrowing every goddamn time he finishes one, and still has _no clue_ what that _cracking_ sound is 
  * It’s only when you casually do it at the dinner table and Asmo cringes, complaining about how weird it is that humans get pockets of gas inside certain joints and they actually have to crack it out, to which all his brothers nod their head and cringe when you do it again, that he understands what it is
  * Has never been more relieved
  * He isn’t as disturbed by the sound as he was before, so it’s not as fun to tease him with it - but you can count on the fact that if you ever crack anything in his presence, he will pause whatever he’s doing to study you for a moment and make sure your face isn’t contorted in pain or anything
  * After all, he needs to be completely certain that you haven’t broken a bone
  * But someone help this man when he realizes how much more flexible humans are compared to demons
  * The first time you do a backbend in front of him, he actually flinches
  * Man can’t help but imagine himself in those poses - and no matter how sexy _you_ look when you’re winking at him and stretching your body like it’s glue, his bones would have to be shattered to bits for him to do the same
  * Quietly asks you not to stretch yourself into such positions in his presence
  * On the bright side, you can shut him up in the middle of any lecture by “casually” stretching your arms back until the demon is so disturbed that he stops in the middle of his sentence and asks you to leave as soon as possible
  * All in all, not a big fan - but he can tolerate your antics (if only to save face)
  * But if you ever show him videos (or even pictures) of a contortionist, he may actually be scarred for the rest of his almost-eternal life



###  **Mammon**

  * Man really needs to learn how to knock
  * He barges into your room without warning, as usual, only to see you all but straddling the ground, legs spread wide apart as you lean to one side and touch your right toe
  * It’s the most basic human stretch there is - but it’s _terrifying_ to Mammon
  * You don’t even get the chance to say hi to him before he’s lifted you onto your feet, pulling you up from under your arms, desperately asking why you weren’t screaming for help 
  * Cannot process the fact that you were actually in that position _willingly_ , much less the notion that it felt _remotely_ good
  * Of course, you respond to his obvious aversion by showing him all the other ways your body can bend, flopping onto your bed and bending your body into a perfect bridge position
  * Mammon’s _screeches_ when he sees the arch your back makes
  * It lowkey gives him nightmares the next night
  * Also becomes very touchy after he sees you move your body around so comfortably
  * In his eyes, you’re now the equivalent of a giant teddy bear - and really, what are the differences, now? He uses you for cuddles and hugs, can seemingly bend your body in any way and you’ll bounce back, and your skin is so _soft_ compared to the hardness of his own body
  * Man actually grows used to your body after a while, holding a strange fascination for the way you can move
  * Begins to think that it’s _cool_ when you show him how you can crack your knuckles and such
  * Absolutely makes use of the fact that some of his other brothers hate the sound, casually walking up to them with you by his side and asking them (while you crack your knuckles) to forgive his debts
  * Works 90% of the time
  * The 10% when it doesn’t work, though, he gets into trouble
  * In his free time, though, he actually likes lying with you and trying to figure what other body parts you can crack
  * Courtesy of Mammon, you learn that you can crack your hip if you stretch at a certain angle
  * (Bonus:) He one day tries to stretch _his_ body the way you stretch yours and does a basic hamstring stretch on the ground, trying to touch his toes, but the exertion is too much for his inflexible body and he sort of locks a joint, so he’s left on the floor for nearly half an hour until you find him in his room and help him out of it
  * (Bonus bonus:) After his trauma from the above incident, he immediately goes back to assuming that you’re in great pain every time he sees you do a particularly difficult stretch and instantly lifts your body out of the position, no matter how you protest and say that you’re fine



###  **Leviathan**

  * "What a normie”
  * That’s the only reaction you get when you crack your knuckles in front of him, eager to see what he’ll do after realizing how much it disturbs his other brothers
  * Needless to say, you’re disappointed by his utter nonchalance
  * But that’s only because you have no clue what happens to Levi when he runs to his room and closes his door, jumping into his bathtub with a _shook_ expression on his face
  * “Oh my god!” He squeals. “iT wAs LiKE iN tHe aNImES”
  * Nah, fr tho
  * Man has seen _more_ than enough human-world shows which feature characters cracking their knuckles before getting down to work, so he’s pretty familiar with the concept
  * Like many things in anime, he was only 60% sure that it was real
  * But you _actually_ did it
  * And it was in _real_ life
  * Man is practically fanboying over a perfectly normal phenomenon
  * While you’re sitting in the living room, thinking that he was utterly unfazed by it :(
  * But when the two of you have a _whole_ year to spend together under the same roof, it’s honestly inevitable that the truth comes out
  * “You _like_ it?” You ask, pure confusion settling over your faces. After all, he’s the first of the brothers to not be utterly horrified by your little habit
  * “N-no!” Levi shouts, hiding his face. “I mean, maybe...just a little...sort of...but not in the normie way!”
  * Boi is too cute for his own good
  * Of course, you humor him and proceed to crack every single joint you can think of, sending a wink Levi’s way 
  * It would be _so_ easy to tease him, wouldn’t it? To mess with him and call him strange, to compare to his brothers and remind him that you’re _not_ an anime character - and that anime is, in fact, based on humans, so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that humans could crack their knuckles the way he’s seen online
  * _But,_ he’s too precious. And too cute. And he’s too _adorable,_ staring at you with that utterly captivated expression, so you can’t help but humor him again, asking if he wants to see some of the other differences between humans and demons
  * And when you show him how you can bend your body, man is shook all over again
  * He 100% thought that the absurd stretches (like a _split?_ how preposterous) were merely fabrications of animation - flourishes added in by animators to make the visuals more interesting
  * But seeing you move like that? And when you show him the _other_ stuff?
  * Congratulations. Boi is officially convinced that humans are more interesting that anime can ever be.



###  **Satan**

  * One of the few demons who was already familiar with the fact that humans are ridiculously flexible and can crack nearly everything in their body 
  * He was actually the one to approach you about it
  * “Stretch for me, human.”
  * Or well, the same thing but in less blunt words
  * Actually invites you to have tea with him where he first broaches the subject, confirming that you'll be fully comfortable with everything he wants to study
  * Lmao man really arranges to have a safe word in case he pushes you too far
  * Once you’ve agreed to letting him study how the human body can bend and crack, the two of you set a time and meet up in his room (and yes, he _does_ clear his books out of the way to make room for you)
  * And so the stretching begins
  * It actually feels quite awkward at first with Satan showing you pictures from human world yoga books and asking you to mimic them, taking notes in a book on everything 
  * Gets really excited when he realizes that your flexibility is a function of how often you stretch, and once he realizes that you’re able to go a little farther each day, he becomes lowkey obsessed with finding out whether there's a limit or not
  * Boi may or may not secretly try to stretch in his own room in case demons are just naturally less flexible and need to stretch regularly to become like humans
  * Also almost breaks his arm attempting that, so he never tries it again
  * The whole ordeal fits itself into your routine after long enough: after school, you go to Satan’s room and do yoga while he jots down notes on how your body moves, and after everything is done the two of you have tea
  * Satan never touches you while you’re stretching for fear that he’ll physically push you into something uncomfortable, but when you explain that certain positions are easier to hold if someone helps, he’ll definitely try to be a helping hand
  * He starts out really tentatively, hesitant that he’ll be too strong and will push you to the floor or something, but he’s pleasantly surprised to find that humans are more resilient than he’d initially thought
  * After his notebook is filled with notes and he’s suitably convinced that all his questions are sated, he’ll express his gratitude and tell you that you don’t need to continue 
  * But if you tell him that you’ve been enjoying your time together, man will 100% clear that space in his room permanently, so that you can spend time there together while Satan asks you calming questions about your day and you stretch the tension of the day out of your muscles



###  **Asmodeus**

  * Jelly boi
  * Nah but fr
  * Man couldn’t care less about your ability to crack your knuckles and neck - if anything, he finds the habit to be irritating
  * But boi is _jealous_ when he sees how easily you can bend your body and stretch into positions that even he can’t
  * Obviously, his mind is in the gutter when he’s thinking about the way your body can bend - but he’s equally furious of the fact that human skin is so much _softer_ than demon skin
  * Like, yes. Most demons have near-perfect skin because of its taut texture - and yes, that gives them the illusion of perfection
  * But human skin, blemished as it is, is like a teddy bear next to a rock when compared to demon skin
  * And obviously Asmo’s skin is softer than everyone else’s (this man is NOT skimping out when it comes to his skincare routine), but it infuriates him that his skin isn’t as soft as yours 
  * Of course, man bounces back quicker than anyone else (as expected)
  * He grows content with the texture of his own skin the moment he realizes how easily penetrable human skin is - namely when he’s doing homework with you and he sees your skin get sliced open by _paper_ , of all things (man nearly chokes when he learns that this is a _regular_ occurrence for humans)
  * But he never quite loses his fixation for the human body
  * It’s highkey the reason why he likes touching you so much - your skin is softer than some Devildom blankets! If he could fall asleep with your arms wrapped around him every night, he absolutely would
  * But he won’t genuinely request that of you unless you explicitly offer, so he’ll settle for simply hugging you at every opportunity
  * Ofc, the moment he grows content with the texture of his skin, he’s jealous of your flexibility all over again, so it’s kind of nuts
  * You eventually have to sit him down and tell him all the downfalls of being able to bend yourself into awkward positions (ex: getting stuck in said position or causing a cramp) for him to finally be content with his own body once more
  * The moment he’s back to normal, all the usual flirtatious jokes come back and he’s offering to let you show him the ways your body can bend
  * You deny instantly
  * But if he ever takes you to a club and has the opportunity to dance with you, do a body roll
  * Man will get on his knees if that’s what it takes to have you do it again
  * And then he’ll whisk you off to his room, stubbornly ignoring his brother’s protests, declaring that he needs to “reeducate” himself in the art of dance, and that you’re going to be his teacher
  * And hey - give him a private show while you’re at it ;)



###  **Beelzebub**

  * The first time you crack your knuckles in front of him, he’s eating
  * Man doesn’t really register it, just assumes that he bit something crunchy 
  * The second time you do it, it’s in his and Belphie’s room - and Belphie is taking a nap
  * Man gets a little suspicious, because the sound _definitely_ came from your end, but he dismisses it and decides that the sound must have been a hitch in Belphie’s breathing
  * But the third time, the two of you are alone
  * And Beel’s protective instincts come rushing to the surface when he realizes that you really _are_ the one making that sound
  * “Are you dying?”
  * First question, no matter what. Man has heard of medical conditions that cause bones to become brittle and crumbly, so he _needs_ to know
  * Then again, he won’t really believe you when you tell him the truth
  * “You can...crack stuff at will?”
  * beelisconfuzzled.exe 
  * You have to show him methodically, portion by portion, which of your body parts you can crack
  * He isn’t disturbed by the sound (he’s eaten things which sound much worse, he can assure you) but man is intrigued
  * (”But _how?”_ He’ll inevitably ask, struggling to yank his own knuckles off in an attempt to crack them and get that feeling of satisfaction you kept talking about)
  * All in all,he has a decent reaction - probably one of the only people who won’t overreact about the information
  * But then the fateful day comes
  * And _he_ cracks _your_ back
  * It happens while he’s giving you a big bear hug, proud of you after you came running to tell him about a good grade you got in Devildom Literature - and he places his palm on your back in _just_ the right area, pressing down as he hugs you
  * And _pop_
  * Man is so mortified, he almost drops you
  * You, on the other hand, cannot be more pleased with this development
  * “Again! Again!” You shout, trying to get him to repeat the action - but while Beel loves hugging you, cracking your back is something he’s not willing to risk
  * “It’s okay when _you_ do it, because you know how much your back can take” is his biggest argument. "But _I_ don't."
  * And unfortunately, calling him a chicken won’t work when you try to convince him otherwise :(
  * What _will_ work, however, is convincing Beel that this can be a sort of strength training - because he needs to have full control of his body to do it right
  * He’ll agree to do it _once_ (mainly because you’ve been begging for so long)
  * But, obviously, “once” means as many times as you want, from there on out ;)



###  **Belphegor**

  * It’s one of the few times where Belphie isn’t in tune with his brother
  * And he _hates_ it
  * He doesn’t understand how Beel isn't disturbed by the sound - every time you crack your knuckles, it sends a shudder straight down Belphie’s spine
  * And it’s not the ick factor taking place. It’s just that Belphie can’t _help_ that his mind wanders to darker places whenever you do something like that, the sound abruptly reminding him of his time in the Celestial War and all the awful things he heard there
  * Like others, the sound reminds him of how _weak_ you really are
  * And so, if you ever crack your knuckles around him, expect him to leave instantly
  * He’s the one brother who will never learn to tolerate it - not when he can remove himself from the situation so easily
  * And honestly, it’s kind of amazing how sharp his ears are
  * Is he taking a nap on your lap? If you think you can subtly crack anything without his eyes shooting open, you’re wrong
  * Is he preparing dinner with you in the kitchen? Nope, the sound of boiling water will _not_ cover the sound of your body stretching too far, and Belphie will shoot you a glare before swiftly exiting the room
  * Is he simply doing homework with you in the RAD library? You’d _think_ that the sound of chatter from the table next to you would hide the noise you make when you subtly lean back to crack your back, but Belphie is gathering his things mere seconds later, huffing and muttering under his breath
  * So yeah
  * Not a fan
  * On the other hand, he _loves_ how accommodating your body is in terms of how flexibly you are
  * It brings him great joy, honestly, to just watch you flop your arms around aimlessly because humans’ movements are so fluid, so smooth, so unhindered by the rigid joints of demons
  * And, obviously, your flexibility makes for better naps
  * He likes to sleep next to you with his arms wrapped around your waist while you latch onto him in whatever position you deem comfortable
  * Without a doubt, the position you find is something that would be wholly impossible for a demon (how are you bending your legs that much?!) and it sometimes scares him to realize the full extents of your flexibility (can all humans twist their arms like that, or is it just you?) but he loves that you use your body’s oddities to pull him closer
  * And he’ll never deny you a comfortable nap if you’re willing to cuddle so readily
  * Never
  * Unless you crack your knuckles, that is



###  **Solomon**

  * Life is war and cracking body parts is your only weapon
  * Aka nonstop competitions between you and our resident wizard boy, both of you cracking body parts back and forth until one of you either fails or runs out of things to crack
  * Knuckles? Come on, are you even trying? Give him something less _basic_
  * Back? Oh yeah. Both sides, too - and the _loud_ ones
  * Hips? You didn’t think it was possible, but Solomon will look you in the eye and hit one side of his hip, the movement a prelude to an instant _CRACK_ which rings out oh-so- _gloriously_ from the other end
  * Ribs? You realized you could crack them once and never stopped - you’re actually the one to teach Solomon how to do this
  * Neck? Always the finisher. So loud, and _so_ satisfying
  * Neither the House of Lamentation nor Purgatory Hall ever wants to have the two of you over at the same time, because the residents _know_ that you and Solomon will have these competitions. And they absolutely hate it.
  * So what do you do?
  * Go to the library and disturb the demons _there_ , of course
  * It actually becomes a pretty sick form of payback to all the annoying demons that look down on the two of you for being humans, because they always cringe _so_ hard when you guys do this
  * The two of you have deduced that the sound of knuckles cracking is the demon equivalent to the sound of nails on a chalkboard
  * And you fucking run wild with it
  * No one wants to piss either of you off, because you’ll both glare at the demon in question and proceed to crack every body part known to mankind (like seriously - it’s reached the point where you guys can crack your TOES, and if that isn’t absolutely _amazing,_ then you don’t know what is)
  * It actually highkey annoys the demons in your classes, because you guys always crack everything right before an exam and while it helps _you_ focus better, it effectively ruins _their_ concentration
  * Ofc you guys don’t really care so they can suck it
  * But uh
  * Okay so the demons at RAD may or may not get fed up of you both one day and petition for Diavolo to instate a “No cracking body parts” rule in school
  * So yeah your primary source of entertainment sort of disappears after that point
  * But no worries, you and Solomon head to the downtown shopping districts instead and become the BEST hagglers in town
  * “Hey, can we get these shirts on a discount? Huh? You don’t do discounts? 
  * *Aggressively cracks everything until the demon just wants them out of the store*
  * “How about now BICH?”



###  **Simeon**

  * You’re actually not the one to introduce Simeon to the idea of humans being able to crack their body parts at will
  * No, it’s Solomon who steals that pleasure from you
  * But will Simeon ever let the sorcerer know just how much it unnerves him? Absolutely not. So what does our beloved angel do?
  * Why, there’s only one option
  * Come running _straight_ to you.
  * Man is disturbed. Honestly, disturbed is phrasing it lightly. If he were in his angel form, you’d be able to see how his feathers ruffle and flutter at the very _thought_ of that sound
  * Needless to say, he _hates_ it
  * (You 100% consider cracking _your_ knuckles in front of him, just to tease him, but you decide against it)
  * See, Simeon is an angel. And that means 99% of the time, he’s surrounded by _other_ holy spirits, all of which have bodies molded to perfection that simply _cannot_ crack the way yours can. Whereas demons are forced into human interaction a little more (oft when they're summoned), Simeon really isn’t used your fragility, no matter how much he tries to remind himself of it
  * So yeah
  * He hates it
  * On the other hand - man _loves_ how flexible humans are
  * The first time you flop down onto your bed, assuming a position that would be impossible for any demon or angel to take but is deemed “comfortable” by you, Simeon is enraptured
  * It’s not sexual, he just thinks it’s really amazing that you have so much control over your body when he can hardly do a standing glute stretch without breaking a limb
  * It’s almost funny, his fixation
  * Actually no - it’s not _almost_ funny. It is wholly and completely hilarious, and you will not stop leading him further down this rabbit hole
  * When you send this man picture of an extortionist, he’s utterly mesmerized
  * Show him human ballet, and he will not stop watching it
  * So yeah
  * He appreciates parts of the human body, hates others - but as long as you never crack your muscles in front of him, he’s down
  * Also - after you’ve thoroughly interested him in the art of being a human, he may just write about it in his next book. If you read the next set of chronicles detailed by Christopher Peugeot, you already know who the “feisty but good-hearted human who can bend themselves into a pretzel” is based on
  * (Bonus: Do a body roll in front of him and he might faint - man knew the human body could but like _that?_ You might just have corrupted an angel)



###  **Luke**

  * “So...cool...!”
  * Boi _loves_ it
  * He cheers you on like a champ, laughing merrily as you crack your knuckles into oblivion, scaring away the other residents in Purgatory Hall
  * And no matter how many times Simeon warns him not to urge you on (”The human already has no sense of self-preservation, and you don’t need to help that along,” he said), Luke can’t help but watch with excited eyes as you show him how different the human body is
  * He’s almost like Levi with his ardent admiration, and he honestly finds nothing disturbing about the sound of you cracking knuckles
  * Just finds it cool
  * It actually serves as a catalyst for his relationship with Solomon, because Luke will 100% go up to him and ask him whether he can crack his body like you, and obviously, the man will laugh and prove that centuries of knowledge have made him _better_ than the average human - even in this area
  * But yeah
  * You can really see his inner child come out
  * (Though don’t say that last part out loud - he’ll ignore you for three days in an attempt to be “mature” before you convince him to accept your apology)
  * But really - he may be the only person who can not only tolerate the quirks of your body, but openly endorses all of them
  * On the downside, though, he’ll also try to crack _his_ knuckles...which won’t bode too well, given that his body was built to perfection by God
  * Boi almost rips his finger off
  * Simeon proceeds to instate a no-cracking-knuckles rule within Purgatory Hall to discourage any further attempts from Luke
  * But you know what he didn’t ban?
  * Backflips.
  * It doesn’t matter if you can or you can’t do them - Luke will happen to see a video of a human doing one (ahem, Solomon showed him it in an attempt to stir up trouble), and now he’s begging you to do the same thing in real life
  * Which doesn’t work out too well, given that backflips are hard
  * And you may not be successful 100% of the time
  * And obviously, Simeon eventually finds out that the two of you have moved onto a new fixation, and so he instate the no-backflips-in-Purgatory-Hall rule
  * But you know what he didn’t ban? 
  * Cartwheels.
  * And so it continues on and on, indefinitely because the only way to cease your and Luke’s shenanigans would be to ban _humans_ in Purgatory Hall, and Solomon is thankfully preventing him from doing that



###  **Barbatos**

  * Hates it, hates it, hates it
  * More than any of the brothers, more than any of the angels - this man loathes every oddity of the human body that makes it different from a demon’s
  * But not for the reasons you’d expect
  * See, it’s not the sound that bothers Barbatos
  * No, he’s heard the screams of the damned before. You cracking a few measly knuckles hardly makes him flinch as he pours your tea
  * But what Barbatos _does_ hate is the fact that he doesn’t know what it means
  * Every single time you crack a knuckle in his presence, it doesn’t matter if the prince _himself_ is speaking, because Barbatos’s eyes will fly straight to you
  * And yes - you guessed it:
  * Barbatos can’t tell the difference between the sound of you cracking your knuckles and the sound of you breaking a bone.
  * And for that reason, he _hates it_
  * It’s hardly his fault - he doesn’t even know if there _is_ a difference between the two sounds. But this butler has no faith in you and no faith in humanity as a whole, so every time you crack your knuckles, it sends a rush of worry straight to his stomach, and the demon has to watch you for a solid ten seconds to make sure that you haven’t _actually_ hurt yourself
  * Poor man
  * He’s the kind of guy to take everything in stride, so he'll probably never tell you how much he hates it when you crack your knuckles (and honestly, what would he say? “Hi, can you please stop cracking your knuckles because I care about you and it makes me concerned for your health???” No, that’s not going to work. And he doesn't know what _will_ work, so he suffers in silence)
  * Seeing you stretch is even worse
  * It can be a casual stretch, simply pulling your arms above your head just _slightly_ beyond what would be physically possible for a normal demon, but it sends a chill to Barbatos’s heart, and he’s worried all over again
  * See, when you crack your knuckles, at least it’s over. But when you stretch? Sometimes you hold your position for a minute, if not more - and Barbatos simply _can’t_ turn away because he’s terrified that he will, and you’ll somehow hurt yourself
  * So yeah
  * No rest for this butler, not as long as you’re going around with that weak body of yours and are cracking and stretching your way into oblivion
  * On the bright side, it means that he’s almost always watching over you when you visit, an added layer of protection 
  * The only difference is that while the others are focused on protecting you from other demons, Barbatos is preoccupied with making sure _you_ don’t hurt yourself



###  **Diavolo**

  * Timing is everything
  * And indeed, you just _happen_ to be in the midst of cracking your knuckles and neck the moment you’re transported to the Devildom, every single one of the most powerful demons in the land staring at you in horror as your body _pops_ some more
  * "Oh no,” Diavolo whispers, frowning as he looks at Barbatos. “We got a defective human :(”
  * Nevermind the insult you feel at his words (who does this strange, unfairly-attractive redhead think he is, calling you “defective???” He might be correct in his judgement, but he had no right to voice his thoughts!), you are _shook_
  * Definitely not the best first impression for either of you to make
  * Of course, Lucifer is quick to pick things up with his explanation of what this place is and who he is, and the whole situation is mostly forgotten as you come to realize that you’re standing in front of a literal prince
  * But the past has a way of resurfacing
  * And _obviously_ , several months later, you crack your knuckles once more in the presence of the demon lord
  * The immediate wince on his face is more than enough for you to read his mind
  * “You’re thinking I’m defective again, aren’t you?”
  * “YOU REMEMBER THAT?!”
  * Poor bby
  * He’s honestly such a brilliant ruler, but when it comes to maneuvering the minds of humans, it’s just _not_ his strong suit
  * Anyway, the two of you have a long talk (aka you rant and Diavolo listens) where you explain to him that cracking knuckles is a _normal_ phenomenon, and that - look, you can even crack other parts of your body
  * And the prince is fascinated
  * He knew humans were built differently than demons, but he’d simply assumed that your body was just as perfect as his, and that yours could simply handle less extreme conditions
  * Clearly, though, that wasn’t the case
  * Man decides that, as the ruler of hell and the man spearheading efforts to unite the three realms, it is his moral obligation to learn about the other ways humans differ from demons
  * And so the shenanigans begin
  * It’s honestly time-consuming, but Lucifer doesn’t mind because if you’re with Diavolo, _you’re_ out of trouble, and Barbatos doesn’t mind because if Diavolo’s with you, then _he’s_ out of trouble
  * All in all, it becomes the prelude to a LOT of time spent together, and a LOT of differences between demons and humans come to light. 
  * Aka various iterations of “What do you mean, humans can’t bite through steel?”




	6. The boys as cats!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The thing is, they can’t just let anybody into RAD. They have to do some kind of background check, some kind of security measure. And given the limited technology of both angels and demons when compared to the human world’s, there’s obviously only one option left for the boys: transform into cats, and pray that you don’t notice how they stalk you. (Hint: You notice.) ___
> 
> __Word Count: 6.6k_ _
> 
> __SFW_ _
> 
> __Characters: All Brothers + All (Un-)Undateables + Luke_ _

###  **Lucifer**

  * Boi thinks he’s so slick
  * Boi really ain’t slick
  * To his merit, he’s better than most of his brothers - it’s the reason he volunteers to transform and study y\ou from afar in the human world
  * But the thing is, his cat form resembles his demon form
  * Which means that no matter how casually Lucifer acts, every single person who crosses paths with him will stop and stare at the sheer magnificence of his being
  * Most humans are oddly terrified of him. A black cat with red eyes is already such a bad omen, no one wants to further involve themselves. Everyone watches him with mesmerized eyes but refuses to draw closer, holding their distance as if he’ll scratch their eyes out the moment they touch him (which is a fairly accurate assessment)
  * Everyone but you
  * It’s quite unfortunate, really, because you’re the _only_ human that Lucifer can’t bite at as you scoop him into your arms and coo over how beautiful he is
  * “Aw, who’s a cute little baby? You are? You are!”
  * If he thought Diavolo was bad, you’re ten times worse. The compliments _never_ end, no matter how viciously he glares at you
  * He struggles in your arms the whole time as you carry him to a shelter, nipping at your hands as harshly as he can without drawing blood, hissing even when the shelter owner tells you that they’re at maximum capacity and can’t accept another cat
  * “Oh, that’s okay then. I’ll just take him home!”
  * Lucifer swears his heart stops when you say that.
  * Unfortunately, he’s drawn too much attention to himself to be able to escape and watch you from afar (not without you seriously noticing that something is wrong), so he reluctantly lets you make him a space in your home, deciding that he’ll be able to better collect information by watching you up close
  * Again, though, nothing goes according to plan
  * In his defense, he gets the information he needs. From the moment you get home, you chat about your day and tell him everything he needs to know while pulling him into your lap and giving him cuddles
  * But what Lucifer never expected is that he’ll _enjoy_ your affection
  * He swears it’s because he’s in this form, in the body of a cat which is trained to purr every time his ears are stroked like the way you do when you put your thumb there, just like _that,_ oh _perfect, please don’t stop, that feels purrrrrfect-_
  * Ahem.
  * He pretends that he finds your touch repulsive, even when you cuddle his form against your chest at night and lay a kiss against the soft diamond-shaped patch of white fur on his forehead
  * Pretends that the deep purr that leaves his throat as you kiss him there is purely _instinctive_ , and not at all because he’s enjoying this 
  * Pretends that he _doesn’t_ now scramble into your arms when you get home, pushing things off tables until your attention is solely focused on him
  * And when the time to return to the Devildom comes, he doesn’t want to leave. But then he realizes that he’ll get you to himself for a full year after this, and so he slips out of your open window undetected, only to return to your life the next day when you’re summoned to _his_ realm



###  **Mammon**

  * _Discreet,_ Lucifer told him
  * He has to be _discreet_ when he transforms into a cat 
  * _Discreet_ when he stalks you from afar
  * _Discreet_ when he gathers information on who you are, to make sure that the student exchange program won’t be compromised when you’re transported to the Devildom
  * So with Lucifer’s words in mind, what does Mammon do when he’s sent to the human world (with a final reminder from Lucifer to be _discreet)?_
  * Sit at your doorstep and meow loudly until you let him inside, of course
  * Boi is living the _life_ from the moment you take him inside. He doesn’t care about your various attempts to bring him to the shelter, he doesn’t care about your whines that you _can’t_ take care of him, he doesn’t care about your oh so _cute_ pouts as you try to trick him into stepping into a cage
  * Nope, from the second you let him inside your home to the moment he has to leave, he sticks to you like glue
  * No, really. Like _glue._
  * If you leave the house with a backpack, you can 100% expect to open it later and see Mammon peering up at you from inside, flashing you a charming grin that melts your heart before you can scold him
  * If you close your door at night and keep Mammon on the other side, you can bet your butt that he’ll _somehow_ be sprawled out against your head in the morning
  * And if you try to ignore him?
  * Bless your heart for trying, but it’s _impossible_
  * He is _not_ above flopping onto your keyboard as you work, swishing his tail onto your arms until you have no choice but to stop what you’re doing and cuddle
  * And he _loves_ your cuddles
  * (Lucifer’s command to gather information is wholly forgotten, though Mammon manages to collect most of what he needs by listening to you as you complain about your day while petting him)
  * Really, there are only two things Mammon does as a cat: steal shiny things and snuggle up against you
  * But Mammon steals a _lot_ of things
  * Most of them are insignificant trinkets. He rarely goes after money, too unused to the sight of bills instead of coins, but every day, you can expect to find a new curio added to your possessions
  * It’s the only memory you have of Mammon when he abruptly disappears - and you realize that even though he monopolized all your free time in his demands for attention, you grew attached 
  * But when you’re finally teleported to the Devildom? And you learn that the strange cat who lived with you for three months was, in fact, the Great Mammon? And you realize that he’s actually a demon?
  * Denial, denial, denial
  * “What are ya talkin’ about, human? I never begged for your head pats - ya _gave_ ‘em to me!”
  * Unfortunately for Mammon, his entire story falls apart when you try patting his head once in the Devildom
  * Because the sound that leaves his throat is an unmistakable _purr_ , and although he swears you to secrecy, his ears still turn pink when you run your fingers through his hair



###  **Leviathan**

  * Who thought this would be a good idea?
  * Sending Levi, the least social person in the Devildom, to a land of humans where he would be forced on the streets as a cat with no way out may have been one of Diavolo’s worst ideas yet
  * The amount of betrayal Levi feels when Lucifer sighs and agrees is palpable
  * But he knows that as soon as he collects the information he needs on you, he can return to the Devildom and go back to binging another rerun of TSL
  * If only it were that simple :(
  * He’s arguably the worst when it comes to gather information
  * Boi has a general idea of who you are, what you look like, and what places you frequent - but when push comes to shove, Levi is the most anxious cat the world has ever seen
  * The unnatural blue of his coat draws far too many eyes his way, to the point where he’s _being_ watched instead of him _doing_ the watching
  * For the first week, he doesn’t even bother trying to find you
  * He’s just trying so hard to survive
  * The stray dogs have taken a liking to him. Literally. They may growl at each other and bark their heads off at strangers, but as soon as Levi enters the vicinity, their eyes light up and they all begin bounding after him
  * Which would be nice, except that Levi is terrified of them
  * He actually runs straight into you on a day where he’s trying to run away from them - the demon (or cat, as he is in this form) scampering on all fours to squirm through small spaces that the dogs can’t follow him into
  * He doesn’t even think when he sees a door open and he scrambles inside
  * He’s just relieved to not be outside anymore
  * Of course, then Levi looks up to see _your_ utterly shocked expression - and he may as well pass out then and there, because he _squeaks_ in fear when he realizes that he’s done the one thing Lucifer told him not to do: make contact with the human
  * _Oh no_
  * Levi watches as you hesitantly open the door again, quietly urging him outside - but then he realizes that if he goes, he’ll just be thrusting himself back into that painful life of being chased endlessly
  * And who does he want to risk angering? A couple of stray dogs or one of the strongest and most powerful demons the world has ever seen?
  * Lucifer. Yeah. Levi will definitely take his chances with Lucifer.
  * Anyway, from there on out, life is good for Levi
  * He’s one of the best behaved cats you’ve ever seen - and not _just_ because he’s perfectly content with staring at a screen all day long 
  * No, he genuinely _wants_ to be a good cat
  * He’s probably the only one you don’t raise eyebrows at - because even though his fur is a shocking blue, he bears the other characteristics you’d expect of a cat. An aversion to touch. A preference for solitude. An inclination towards letting you be as long as you leave him be - and slit eyes that watch your every movement (almost as if he’s studying you, you can’t help but think, though you’re certain that must just be your imagination)
  * The _only_ difference is that Levi seems to love the water, trying to get baths daily and often curling up in your sink for fun
  * But that oddity won’t strike you as strange until your cat mysteriously disappears, mere hours before you’re whooshed away to the Devildom



###  **Satan**

  * It was, in truth, a brain fart moment for Lucifer
  * He just _forgot_ that Satan is the resident cat lover, that Satan cares more about cats than any human, that Satan is _eager_ to disobey, and that when the Avatar of Wrath takes the shape of the creature he loves most, there will be nothing but chaos
  * Of course, Lucifer is back in the Devildom when all this happens - so he has no clue what’s going on
  * But Satan takes full advantage of that fact
  * Man could not care less about you. You’re nothing but a measly human (and how bad can you really be? He’s certain that you won’t destroy the Devildom, so what is Lucifer even concerned about?)
  * And why would Satan bother stalking _you_ when he can stalk his friends, his kin, his fellow _cats?_
  * Indeed, he is the _worst_ person for this mission
  * The second he enters the human world, he’s already off in search of felines to befriend
  * And he finds every single one within a five mile radius
  * Within a matter of days, the cats have grouped around him, not only having accepted him as one of their own but having accepted him as their leader. Satan united the solitary creatures, he brought them together. He’s the Mance Rayder of the kitty world, and he is _unstoppable._
  * It actually begins to get news coverage, because this is completely different from how the cats in your area normally behave
  * But, well, they’re _cats_ and it’s not like Satan’s new friends can speak, so the media shoos off soon enough
  * But when the media leaves, another person enters
  * And then Satan is not only surrounded by cat friends, but a human, too!
  * Initially, he doesn’t really care for them. He’s more preoccupied with playing with his friends (and really, his paws are _so_ cute when they’re this size) - but after enough time, the human has embedded themselves into Satan’s life just like these cats
  * And it’s only when you’re feeding him crumbs from a pastry while complaining about your day that Satan realizes that the details of your life are suspiciously similar to the person he was sent down here to watch
  * And then it clicks
  * You’re not just a human, you’re _the_ human
  * And that’s roughly the point where Satan begins doing what he was actually sent down here to do - check up on you, make sure you’re not a threat, and prevent you from dying early
  * You barely notice a change in his behavior, though
  * He’s cautious, like a cat. His personality already lines up with their isolationist behavior, so you don’t suspect a thing even as Satan pops in and out of your life, green eyes checking in on you from the _strangest_ places
  * Surprisingly, he’s not a huge fan of cuddles. He’d much rather be fawning over his cat friends than _be_ fawned over - so the two of you don’t have much physical closeness
  * But Satan can tell that, even if you’re subtle about him, you like him more than the other cats
  * And isn’t it a stroke of good luck that he likes you more than other humans?



###  **Asmodeus**

  * He volunteered to do it
  * Not because he particularly cares about you or the human world or anything related to the student exchange program, but because his cat form is _beautiful_
  * No, seriously - Asmo cannot walk down the street without every single eye flying straight to him
  * He looks like a show cat. His fur looks soft (and almost as soft as it really is) and it’s the color of his hair, a beautiful strawberry blonde which is _just_ unnatural enough to raise eyebrows but not too glaringly out of place
  * He reinvents the cat walk, every paw placed with precision with confidence to boot, his very presence a flex on all who look upon him
  * It’s a dream - being able to be _that_ beautiful
  * Or it would be, if the local strays hadn’t also taken a liking to Asmo
  * You actually cross him quite a few times (because unlike _some_ of his brothers, Asmo does vaguely remember that his task here is to collect information on you) and at first, he’s just beautiful. Calm. Enchanting. He walks slowly but purposefully, the street becoming a red carpet _just_ for him
  * But um
  * It doesn’t last for long
  * Because three days after Asmo has come to the human world, the other human world cats have caught onto him
  * And they’re just as mesmerized as humans are. 
  * The only difference is that animals have much less self restraint.
  * And so, four days later, Asmo is meowing at the top of his lungs as he bounds down the street, desperately trying to escape the literal _horde_ of creatures following him
  * It’s not his fault he’s so beautiful, it’s not his fault they’re chasing him
  * (It is his fault for charming them, but that’s something he’ll never fess up to)
  * But yeah, when Asmo realizes how much trouble he’s in (do you see the _size_ of those creatures following him?!), he goes straight for the one thing he knows enough about to trust
  * You
  * Of course that inadvertently puts _you_ as the target for the swarm of animals that are bounding around the corner, but as soon as Asmo jumps onto your shoulder and meows you into action, you’re shrieking as well and are dashing to your apartment, locking the door behind you
  * Yeah, Asmo’s never leaving your apartment again :)
  * It’s such a shame, given that his beauty is too magnificent to hide - but it’s a necessity, because he can still hear those animals pawing at your door
  * And he doesn’t even give you a _chance_ to get rid of him
  * Because he monopolizes 100% of your time
  * No seriously, from the second you let Asmo into your home, it’s all about _him._
  * He’s honestly such a brat
  * But he’s also the most affectionate brat you’ve ever met, so you don’t even mind as he forcefully closes your laptop and crawls onto his lap, meowing so loudly you can almost _hear_ the words “Give me attention” fall from his kitty-sized mouth



###  **Beelzebub**

  * He tries to follow Lucifer’s orders, he really does
  * But even with Lucifer’s promise of taking him to Ristorante Six and letting him eat however much he wants weighing on Beel’s mind, he simply _can’t_ resist going up to you when you happen to be seated at an outdoor restaurant, eating some food Beel _really_ wants to try
  * He’s just so hungry, y’know? 
  * And, really, after he learns that you’re kind enough to feed him a piece of your scone - there’s no chance he’s going to stop following you
  * Sorry Lucifer :(
  * You notice it almost immediately - that the strange-looking cat you offered the a piece from your breakfast to has now taken to following you _everywhere_
  * And everyone else notices it as well
  * Because really, if Beel’s demon form is conspicuous - he’s ten times more eye-catching as a cat. It’s not his fault that his fur is brighter than an orange peel, that his eyes are so giant that his pupils look like literal amethysts. And he can’t be blamed for the fact that he’s practically the size of a dog, his paws being larger than most kittens’ heads. 
  * What the demon _can_ be blamed for is the fact that he forgets he’s supposed to possess the intelligence of a cat
  * And so he instinctively meows in excitement every time you so much as _mention_ anything related to food
  * At first, you’re unconcerned. Yeah, this absolutely stunning cat has been following you all morning and has displayed human-like intelligence, but surely it’ll go away? Surely it won’t follow you into your workplace? Surely it’ll be gone by the time your shift is over?
  * Haha, you thought 
  * As soon as Beel’s stomach is full, his brain kickstarts back into action and he remembers that he technically was supposed to _avoid_ interaction with you at all costs
  * But since that’s already impossible, surely this means it’s time for Plan B, right?
  * Which is quite unfortunate for you, because the Plan B that Beel and Belphie came up with prior to him being sent out here was to shoot you his softest, cutest, most _adorable_ look and meow like a stray until you give in and take him home
  * And when Beel attempts it on you, it works like a charm
  * Part of it might be the fact that he’s truly one of the most gorgeous cats you’ve ever seen, part of it might be the fact that you could hear his stomach growling as he shot you that oh-so-desperate look after following you home and sitting on your doorstep
  * Either way, Beel has a new home for the next few months 
  * And this kitten will work so hard to be the best cat you could possibly have, because he is one of the few to be genuinely grateful of the fact that you took him in while simultaneously being _aware_ that you could have chosen to kick him out
  * And - well would you look at that? It appears that you also have a fully stocked kitchen! _And_ a comfy-looking bed that reminds him of Belphie’s? _And_ soft hands that are always willing to give him more head pats?!?!?!?
  * Oh yes
  * Beel will enjoy his time here very much, thank you <3



###  **Belphegor**

  * Ah, did you think the Devildom would be your first taste of hell?
  * Nah
  * If Belphie is the one sent to do the background check on you, your hell begins the second he walks into your life
  * Or well, _walks_ is a bad word. It’s more like Belphie spots an open window, claws at the window screen until his nails have torn through it, struts inside (while knocking everything in his path over), and plops himself down on the most comfortable spot in your home, all while maintaining eye contact
  * Yeah. This boy will really just assert dominance over you in your own home.
  * And if you try to kick him out? Or move him? Or even touch him without his approaching you first?
  * Good luck. Because Belphie is the only brother who knows how sharp his nails are and simultaneously does not care, because if you so much as boop him on the nose when he’s not feeling up to it - there will be blood
  * Which is really rough, because there’s virtually no way for you to tell what he is and isn’t feeling up for
  * Some days, he’ll be so sleepy that he won’t care if you settle a hand over his head, your fingers thumbing the splashes of white that decorate his otherwise dark fur
  * Other days, he’ll snarl at you if you so much as look at him
  * There’ll be times when he struts into your bed and nips at your hands until you give in and begin petting him until he’s had enough and saunters off again
  * You’ll even have to deal with times where he’ll hiss at you if you speak. (That’s right. If you make noise in your own home, boi will _hissssss)_
  * But on special days - and these only occur on the rarest of occasions - he’ll remain quiet when you cautiously take a seat next to him, and he’ll make no sounds as you tentatively begin stroking the spot right between his ears. If you do it long enough, he’ll rest his head on your thigh, his eyes getting heavier and heavier...until he’s gone and fallen asleep on your lap, a deep purr only escaping his tiny lips when he’s asleep on top of you and dead to the world, lost between slumber and your oh-so- _gentle_ touch
  * Oh, but those days are hella rare
  * 90% of the time, he’s the kind of cat to push your favorite mug off the table while maintaining eye contact 
  * But when the time finally comes for him to be whisked off to the Devildom, you scheduled to arrive mere hours afterward, he’ll find that he’s actually _missed_ your presence, your company, and (dare he say it?) your pats
  * Of course, he’ll crush those sentiments as soon as they rise up, proudly telling himself that it’s stupid he’d ever feel that way about a human
  * But even he is vulnerable to the swell of emotion, of feelings, of affection. 
  * And when the terrible affliction of _love_ finally strikes his heart? 
  * Well...you get to cuddle him more than he ever let you in his cat form



###  **Solomon**

  * It was more a whim than anything else
  * Yes, Solomon could have chosen to befriend you the normal way and yes, he could have learned more about his future fellow exchange student without breaking into your house
  * But the look on your face when you wake up to see his furry, white form sitting on your chest is truly priceless
  * Boi has zero regrets
  * Instantly, he can see that you’re freaking out. It’s quite amusing to watch, really - he wishes his cat form could consume popcorn as he swishes his tail back and forth on your bed and watches you panic while wondering if you stole this cat, if you committed a crime, if you’re now a felon and the government can lock you up
  * Yeah, Solomon’s a bit of a sadist, taking pleasure in your frantic misery like this
  * But he also knows that he can’t let you stress yourself out too much (especially not before entering what will be one of the most stressful periods of your life) so he intervenes and calms you down with some snuggles
  * And some magic
  * Because yes, shady boy is shady boy
  * Listen, it’s not his fault he loves the feeling of your fingers on his hair. It’s not his fault his cat form is hardwired to nuzzle into your palm. It’s not his fault it’s practically built in to his instincts to seek out your affection, your cuddles, your love
  * So when Solomon quietly uses some soothing magic on you the first time you pet him, it’s not his fault. He’s just making sure you don’t stop - and can you really blame him for that?
  * Plus, he’s just making sure that the pleasure train goes both ways - he’s doing it out of nobility. Self-sacrifice. Virtue, or some crap like that
  * And so, over the short duration of time the two of you spend together, Solomon slowly conditions your body to understand that the more you cuddle him, the better you end up feeling
  * Yes, he literally uses Pavlovian conditioning to make you give him pats
  * And with your utter inexperience with magic, you don’t even realize that your little cat has all but hypnotized you into wanting to give it cuddles
  * But when you’re not aggressively cuddling Solomon for hours on end, he makes sure to be a pretty normal cat
  * After all, your whole life is going to change when you go to the Devildom
  * The least he can do is let you enjoy your final days of normalcy
  * Or, again, that’s what Solomon plans to do until he realizes how utterly boring it is to be a cat with nothing to do other than walk around
  * Boi genuinely believes that there’s nothing more to the cat life than getting cuddles from humans, up until you find another way to keep him in check
  * _Reading books out loud_
  * You do it as a joke first, trying to get some peaceful time by reading words off your book and pretending that you’re speaking to your cat - but then you realize that your little creature _actually_ seems to be listening
  * And so a new power is unlocked, and the roles are abruptly reversed
  * Because it’s no longer Solomon who is aggressively magicking his way into getting cuddles - but it’s finally _you_ who is able to control some element of this otherwise one-sided relationship
  * But brace yourself, because when the two of you are finally whisked off to the Devildom - Solomon will continue to expect you to read to him
  * And there’s no way he’s letting you get out of it.



###  **Simeon**

  * This man
  * This donkey
  * This absolute _buffoon_
  * He doesn’t even try.
  * Simeon maintains a perfectly placid smile as Michael gives him his assignment - to find one of the humans who is to be sent to the Devildom and to monitor them to ensure they won’t accidentally corrupt Luke - and doesn’t betray a single one of his true emotions as Michael stresses, for the umpteenth time, that he _cannot_ make contact with the human
  * “And what are you absolutely not going to do?” Michael asks, mere seconds before Simeon is to be sent down to the human world in his new form
  * “Make contact with the human :)” The angel replies instantly, wearing a smile so innocent that anyone watching would wonder why Michael seems to distrust the angel so
  * Of course, Michael was right
  * And the second Simeon enters the human world, he saunters onto your doorstep, meowing loudly until you yank the door open and see him
  * The innocent smile Simeon shoots you is _too_ angelic. He knows you won’t stand a chance, he knows that you’re going to take him in the moment your eyes meet
  * And angel boi is loving it
  * He knew, from the start, that this method would be so much more effective. This way, he can directly monitor you in your own home, curl up on your stomach and pretend to be asleep while you talk to yourself and reveal all the information Simeon needs to know you’re not a threat - _and_ he gets to bask in your attention
  * Technically, he should return to the Celestial Realm as soon as he has the information he needs. _Technically._
  * But Simeon rarely binds himself to such stringent rules, so he decides to cut himself some slack and stay with you a little longer, a content purr rumbling from deep in his throat as your index finger massages that _one_ spot above his forehead that makes all his senses go fuzzy
  * As a cat, Simeon prefers to stay indoors as much as possible, and he goes to every length to make sure that you do the same
  * This means falling asleep on you (or pretending to be asleep, really) whenever he hears you talk about going out, because every time you try to shift his sleeping body off your lap, a low whine is all it takes for you to be gushing over his cuteness, too in love with what an _angel_ of a cat he is to risk such a miserable sound spilling from his lips again
  * Yeah, Simeon is really big brain about this
  * Man planned everything out
  * Well, almost everything
  * Nothing can truly prepare him for the moment where he finally has to return to the Celestial Realm (after all, the exchange program starts soon and he has to at least _pack)_ \- and Michael glares at him, revealing that he was _watching_ as Simeon didn’t even _attempt_ to follow his orders
  * All it takes to shut Michael up is a quick transformation back into his cat form, because even the holiest of angels can’t scold a creature that looks so _cute_
  * And Simeon smiles, internally rejoicing because it means he’s found one more way to squirm his way out of Michael’s punishments



###  **Luke**

  * It’s a noble task, Simeon said
  * It’s a respected task, Simeon said
  * It’s the most important task the Celestial Realm needs accomplished before they’ll be willing to send two of their angels down to the Devildom, Simeon said
  * So why does Luke feel as if he drew the short stick?
  * He scowls, inwardly cursing the stubbiness of his paws, realizing that even in _this_ form, he’s still the smallest cat there is
  * Boi hates it
  * But listen
  * Out of 12 men - 7 lords of hell, a wizard literally known for being Wise, a crown prince, a demon who controls time, and one of the Celestial Realm’s most prominent envoys - _Luke_ is the only one who will succeed in his mission to watch over you from afar
  * That’s right
  * This _child_ who is surpassed in age by each and every other man (except Solomon - and even that’s a _maybe)_ , will be the only one to achieve his task in full
  * And smol angel boi isn’t called smol angel boi for nothing
  * No, as soon as Luke begins to gather information on you - as soon as he begins to realize that you’re a genuinely _good_ human, he instantly takes on an even higher burden
  * He decides to make your life better
  * It’s no easy task, given that Luke a cat (an extremely tiny cat, at that), and wherever he goes, people try to pick him up and drop him off at a shelter
  * But boi manages
  * It’s mostly little things - stuff like realizing that you forgot to lock the door and spending a whole _hour_ clawing at the doorknob with a stick in his mouth until he manages to manually lock it from the outside for you
  * Sometimes he’ll find little discarded coins and bills - he never knows how much they’re worth, too unused to this world’s currency - but he’ll never fail to strategically place the money in your path and hide while you find it, his little kitten eyes beaming with delight when he sees how happy you are at these repeated strokes of good luck
  * And surprisingly, the cat community is very accepting of Luke
  * He isn’t sure if it’s because he’s an angel and they naturally sense the purity emanating from him or if it’s because they just think he’s cute, but they gradually seem to realize that he has an odd obsession with making sure that you’re safe and protected
  * And so he inadvertently unites the whole cat community to protect you
  * And while Luke himself can’t do much to improve your life, a whole legion of cats in your area certainly have power
  * Luke and the Cat League™ go on so many adventures to make your life better - doing everything from stalking you in the shadows as you walk home to ensure you’re safe to sneaking inside the restaurants you eat at and biting the ankles of anyone who is mean to you
  * And while you gradually notice over time that the cats of your town seem to protect you - you’ll never know about Luke
  * But you can consider the lasting protection that the cats of your town will give you a parting gift from younger angel, a personal shield crafted just for you
  * And no one will ever know but Luke himself, truly an angel at heart, a positively _precious_ boy who only deserves to be loved <33



###  **Barbatos**

  * Okay listen
  * Just based on the way he behaves, there’s a 90% chance that his true form is actually a cat and he’s just masquerading as a demon
  * (No, seriously - it’s a surprise that Satan isn’t already madly in love with Barbatos. Literally everything about butler boi screams cat vibes, from the subtly condescending persona to the fact that he literally sees and watches and judges everything you do)
  * But in any case, Barbatos is _comfortable_ when he shifts into this form 
  * It’s natural for him to become the spectator and watch life pass on by without him
  * And he’s the only demon who has the potential to do this without encountering any shenanigans
  * He’s always there, even though you don’t see him
  * He’ll perch himself up on a high tower, hundreds of feet away from you - and he’ll just _watch_ as you go hither to
  * But um
  * Things go slightly awry when you happen to close your blinds
  * And while Barbatos can absolutely still follow you from afar and take note of who you are without any interaction, his role is to serve Diavolo best.
  * And he simply _can’t_ risk the chance of you turning out to be hiding a secret that might destroy the Devildom
  * Se butler boi sucks it up and becomes a housecat instead
  * Like others, he bullies his way into the position - sneaking his way inside your house and hissing viciously at you every time you attempt to kick him out
  * He doesn’t let you near him, nipping your fingers the first time you try, and he refuses to eat the “premium” garbage you attempt to feed him
  * Unfortunately, humans are notoriously more tenacious than any other entity in the world
  * And he can only stay awake for so long
  * Barbatos half expects to wake up in an animal shelter when he realizes that he’s fallen asleep - utterly horrified at the fact (and fearful of the notion that he might have failed Lord Diavolo)
  * Man is utterly unprepared to wake up on your bed, squished against your chest
  * Fight or flight mode kicks in immediately, and he’s pawing, scratching, thwacking your face until you wake up and release him from your death grip, to which he jumps out of your arms and begins meowing at you incessantly, as if you can actually understand the admonishment that’s pouring out of his mouth
  * For better or for worse, you don’t
  * “Come back, Fluffy McStuffingtons” You mumble groggily, pulling Barbatos’s paw and dragging him forward, back into the inescapable expanse of your arms. “It’s too _cold_ to sleep separately.”
  * And at that, Barbatos can practically hear Diavolo’s chastising words - _you can’t very well let the human freeze to death, can you?_ \- and Barbatos reluctantly lets you snuggle up against him once more
  * He can observe you better this way, the butler notes, abruptly deciding that maybe, just _maybe_ , he’ll be open to letting you do this in the future
  * It has nothing to do with how cozy your hold is or how soothing the rise and fall or your chest is
  * Absolutely _nothing_ to do with how safe he feels in your arms ;)



###  **Diavolo**

  * Lucifer warned him that this would be a bad idea
  * And, as usual, Lucifer was right
  * The thing is, Lucifer said it was a bad idea because it’s wholly unfitting for a prince to traipse around the human world on all fours like a stray
  * But the real reason this was a terrible, _terrible_ idea?
  * Diavolo cannot blend in
  * At _all._
  * He earns stares _everywhere_ he goes - and really, who wouldn’t stop and look at the magnificent beast?
  * He’s a cat - there’s no doubt about it. But still, he looks more like an enchanted familiar than the other feline creatures which cower in his presence
  * His fur is red. And not just a sweet, light red but a **bold** shade that’s as vibrant as his hair. The markings on his true form have also carried over, forming intricate patterns on his fur that make him impossible to look at without staring
  * And his _eyes_
  * God, Diavolo can see the utter awe in your expression when you first see him, your eyes wide in shock because surely you never thought that it was possible for a creature to be this _magnificent_
  * And you certainly didn’t expect him to follow you home
  * See, Diavolo is a smart man. He knows that he won’t be able to stalk you from afar, not when everyone who glances at him flinches on sight because he’s the size of a lion
  * So when blending in is impossible, Diavolo sets his eyes on another goal: your safety
  * It’s easy for him to monitor you when he perches outside your home like a gargoyle, unmoving for as long as you’re in the building. His ears are larger in this form, and he can hear everything you say - from the annoyed rant you deliver to your best friend on the phone to the secretive whispers you tell them in regards to the “stunning red cat that won’t stop following you around”
  * He practically becomes your guardian for the short duration that he stays in the human world - and whenever a different human calls animal control about a lion-looking creature that’s wandering around your area - Diavolo conveniently vanishes, flashing you a knowing look
  * And although he never speaks to you, never gets close enough to let you pet his head and cuddle him, he swears you understand
  * The demon is cautious in the human world - and although you absolutely pick up on his strange behavior, he never allows you too close, not until he can _confirm_ that you won’t be a threat to the Devildom
  * Which is slightly tragic in itself
  * Because once he _does_ confirm that you’re a safe candidate for the student exchange program, his role in the human world is fulfilled and he has to return to his people in the Devildom
  * But that’s okay
  * Because as soon as you fall asleep, the two of you will be reunited once more
  * And when that time comes, his role as your protector will be much more literal - and he’s already licking his lips in anticipation




End file.
